Sunday, February 3, 2008


In a weird frame of mind these days. Happy and kind of looking forward to things, with this feeling of expectation like there is something out there, tempting and waiting to be caught. Feel in control of things.
But then there is something nagging as well. As with the other feeling, cant exactly say what. Maybe that usual feeling that is always there with any joy?

Sun feels wonderful on the face. Directly though. When not on the face, gets irritating. Books don’t seem to be as punishing and torturous as about a couple of weeks back. Infact, quite comfortable and minus that usual stifling feeling that generally accompanies whenever they are on the table.

Singing out loud with any and every song that’s playing has become quite natural—something that happens on its own, whether lyrics are known or not. Other people’s frowns and complaints- all gone for a toss. All hail the new karaoke queen!

The idea and task of going out, making an effort and approaching people is a real pain. This weather does it to one. But then once around them, seems as natural as anything. Like this is how things should be. Not for too long though. after a while that feeling sets in-- of being on guard around someone particular. That wariness and wish to get away. This is noticed by the other person too. Hence stays cut off? Others don’t though. Act bubbly and its enough for them. Solitary strolls and outings are fun! Preferable even. Picking the phone and calling up is a task mostly. But getting calls is not. Once on, talking for hours is fun. Most times atleast. At others, so much easier to let the phone keep ringing.

This is probably what months of remaining anti social does— makes one so comfortable around their own self. So much so, nobody else is required. Mostly atleast. Wonder how long this can last though.

Ah, laziness.


Monday, 7am
“Get up! Its 7 already! your class is at 7.45. HOW will you make it in time?”- my mum’s early morning refrain. Ofcourse, it doesn’t occur to her that while sleeping i can hardly tell the time. :D
My woolens- pullover, cap (yeah right),warmers, socks...are all laid on the bed for me. I drag myself out. Somehow. Put the dratted things up, freshen up and get ready. Gulp down my breakfast. All in 20 mins flat. (yep! i DONOT dillydally proud grin)
Daddy is at the door, car keys in one hand, paper in the other, giving me the killer looks. Why? cz he’s got to drag himself out and get ready, miss his bedtea to drop me all the way. Good! You only don’t let me drive yet. Those patience lessons, eh? :P anyway...he insists on dropping me, before any of you start thinking I’m an ugrateful spoilt prat!

In the car; seatbelts on. Silence half the way. Then- aaj kya kar rahe ho? amalgamation finished? shit thats really important. 20 marks question sureshot.
Gee thanks. Specially since its stacked in a corner with rest of the backlog?
Talk about my college, professors, friends, his office follows. time-7.45 am. Dot. And we are there! (my dad is a whiz with the wheels you see!)
Teacher still not there. Sit and look at others. DONOT talk with anyone. Don’t particularly like the people around. (oh yes! i can be snooty sometimes. but when you ask people on the first day “hey! which college?” and get a “No college, only business” as an answer, OR when a person you talk with twice starts thinking you have a crush on him, you get turned off yaa!)
8am- Mr. Bansal enters. “Sorry students, got late. So, we were to continue and finish with...”
today I’ll DEFINITELY pay attention and NOT tune him out. pukka se. All ears for the first 45 mins. But then, the bee suddenly starts buzzing, the horns are too blaring; I am too sleepy. Drat! here i go again. :
I look at my cell. A message. Hmmm...better reply before (s)he gets angry. Done. Look at the time...9.45. God! class almost over. Better listen to him now. “So students, we will start with Internal reconstruction the next time.” Class over.
Get out, go to the bus stop. I HATE the waiting. Nothing against them as such. In fact quite like the ride back home like anyone who likes observing people would. But that’s when you manage to get a seat. Otherwise it’s just too crowded and the people—too close.
Anyway, bus boarded at 10.05am (after 15 mins of waiting!)
Conductor—Nahi nahi! KB tak nahi jayegi. CP mein Shivaji Stadium last stop hai.
Damn you. Give me the ticket till Barakhamba then.
At ITO, manage to get a seat. Finally. Then dumped with 2 bags. Honestly! No courtesy in today’s times!
Get off at BK, take the metro to KB…and I’m home!
“kritika! Hurry up. You gotta get out of the house by 3 and you are still not ready! Class ke liye late ho jayegi.” Yeah yeah. Finally out by 3.20 and reach the station by 3.28. shit! My ride just entered the platform! I run up the stairs, go through the security check, huff my way up…only to see the damned thing pull out. Great. Wait for 6 minutes. Call someone. Make them call me back. Talk through the ride. Get off at Mandi House/ Pragati Maidan. Walk to the auditorium. Dev calls- oi! Im stuck. Save Gaurav and me a seat.
And he calls ME lazy. Chauvinist.

Get to the audi. Look around for 3 seats. Manage to find some. Sit. Go through the notes. Its 3.56. Am I fast or what!? :D
4pm- sir starts.
“Ab idhar dekhiye, CON-SUN-TRAIT for the next few minutes please. Maine last class mein karvaya ki Income from House Property is….” Still no sign of those two. I look around. Sir looks at me. I turn back to my notes. HOW does he manage to pay attention to each student in a class of 500?? He IS good.
4.15- dev and Gaurav enter. Dev opens his bag and starts looking for mints. Eats them one after the other like chickpeas. Any wonder his bag is a mini wrapper landfill!? Class is on. I am all ears. I LIKE taxation.
5.45- I start dozing off (been a tiring day, hello!). dev nudges me awake. Laughs a bit at me. I scowl. Then grin back. We 2 start with our PJ session. Carry on with it till 6. Then, “acha! Aap log ab break leejiye but PLEASE be back in 10 mins. I will start at 6.15 sharp.”

We rush outside. Ah! Fresh cold air. Feels wonderful. I LOVE it. Have chips, sweet potato, something to drink. Talk around. Look at people smoke and eat ice cream together. I GOTTA try this. Go back by 6.20. shit! We are late.
Class not started late though. Sheesh! Narrow escape. His personal attention and the ensuing embarrassment is NOT called for.

In the second half, we are alertness personified. We argue about the validity of section so and so, logic behind this and that. NOT cutting out the PJs allt he while, mind you. We can multitask you see!

Soon class is over. Gaurav, Dev, Priyabka, Akanksha and I walk to the metro station. Flock into the metro department, get jostled around incase it is crowded. Rule the place if less people around. Priyanka starts off with her imitations. Then starts with her Gaurav bullying. People turn and stare at us. After R.K. Marg, everyone starts looking out for my station. They know of my habit of missing my station by now. I get off, get on a ‘rick’shaw, get home.

Daddy- how was the class? What did he do?
Me- oh, the usual. So and so sections, and some illustrations.
Mum calls out- dinner ready!

Soon enough dinner is finished. I come online.
Someone (pings)- hey! Whatsup?
Me- nothing much, the usual. You tell.