Friday, May 23, 2008


Its been a while now. Almost a year infact. But it hurts the same. Any similar face, physical presence startles.

WHY couldn't it be the way she had thought it would be? hoped it would be? wanted it would be?

Wasn't it EVER mutual? Was it all a mere figment of her imagination? Didn't he ever feel the same goddamn way?

How is it that for one it is so easy to move on, like nothing ever happened. All those words, those implied thoughts... what about them? Was she simply reading too much into them? Or was she plain 'naive' , as he often called her.

One year ago she was so sure of what might be. But today she feels that maybe it was all just in her head.

but honestly, who can blame her? Not even she herself. The way it went on, the way they carried on, was it wrong on her part to expect something?

WHY do people even like to make the other person believe, hope or expect something when they can't live upto it? One day you are all over a person, the next day you refuse to recongnize them, even acknowledge them. Honestly! No use trying to win over somene when you can't even hold onto them. Or dislike it if they try to.

He came and made her expect. So much. Then went away, never bothering to look back.

And she? what about her? Didn't he bother to think?

Tap on her shoulder.

Great song this one. Do you want to dance, Anu?

Smiling, she got up and took the hand.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


i have been completely spaced out for the whole day today, thinking of nothing, anything and everything that may pop in my brain.i have been thinkin n wonderin about somethings but not been able to come up with the answers. don't even think that now that I'm writing about them ill be able to recall all of them. some of them, however are as follows...
how is it or why is it that though we have known someone half our lives yet not been really close to, becomes so close to us after going away from us?
how someone who's been close to us for so long, suddenly seems like a stranger?
you think that someone's perfect for you or apt for you but you still arn't able to somehow hit the right note with him/her?
even though you're surrounded by people all the time, have plenty of friends yet you feel that no one really is very important to you?
though you're surrounded by people, you feel they don't really care about you or you feel lonely even around them?
you're so close to someone or you like someone so much that you can't stand the thought of him being equally close to another common friend?
you wanna just go away, lock yourself in a room, but STILL wanna open up to someone?
for a while you're close to someone, able to open up with them or around them completely, but the next moment you just wanna clam up and curse yourself for being so transparent and opening up so much with them?
you hold someone at arm's length for a while but they still wanna come close to you, but as soon as you start letting your guard down, they wanna move away?
why, when you gotta think sensibly, you ALWAYS end up thinking sentimentally or vice versa?
why some people's smallest remarks affect you and break you but other people's biggest taunts don't affect you?
why you ever wanna hold on to someone who just wants to let go?
why do you feel its better to simply care but still remain at a distance?
if anyone does have any answers... you know where to drop a comment! ;-)

[ps: old readers will be forgiven for wondering where theyhave read this stuff before. primarily because it IS a repost. had very intelligently deleted the old one. : ]