RESULT DAY

[ok, this post has become kind of old now. Wrote it the day i got my result, 12th August to be precise]

Got my result today. And well,it wasnt' great. Infact wasn't decent at all! Who feels good on getting a lousy ORDINARY result when their closest friends are getting SO much more than them?! That you actually are the lowest scorer of the lot (uh, among friends, NOT the university OR the class!). Definitely not a very good feeling, i can vouch.

But i think the worst part is getting your result in a group of people. Specially a group where everyone seems to have scored atleast a good 5-7% more than you. Makes you feel like the dunce of the century i tell you. And if that wasn't enough, they won't even let you mourn (for your dead result) in peace. They just won't leave you alone! Right from feeding you forks full of pok chok and chocolate icecream with their own tender hands, to giving you a ride back home to the other side of the city, to actually accompanying you half the way, to giving you a lecture on how good, infact GREAT it is to be a 'mediocre' student in order to really live life, i saw it all today. Whether it was Rishabh's trying to nudge me into a smile every second by passing me a secret smile, or Saurabh looking at me with that all knowing smile while i was being subjected to all this, or whether it was Nandini hugging me repeatedly trying to comfort me, or Ruhi throwing an off and on "come on Krit, its ok. Don't be sad" at me, or Mansanjam making me feel like a loser for moping-- it all happened today. She was apparently of the opinion that if you get an ordinary result, you REALLY know how to live it up! Never mind the fact that she herself got around 5% more than me.

Hey, i am NOT complaining. After all, who doesn't like being pampered like this throughout, and that too on someone else's special day? (Did i mention it was a celebratory lunch for Ruhi exiting her teens too?) i loved the consideration they showed me. Honestly. To see so much concern for yourself feels nice.

But then, this made me feel like a bigger fool. It made me the fact that i scored less than any of them even more apparent. And i will have to be honest here, made me think that they were probably glad it wasn't them in my place. I know i sound petty, but hey, my blog, my venting spot. :) It just made me feel like a special case. Which was the last thing i wanted to, at that particular moment. It would have been so much better if they had simply said, "Come on, who cares. You still averaging above a first div, right? so forget it, concentrate on the final year, and lets get on with it." But their constant indulgence made me feel the fact that i was the lowest scorer, even more. (Not to mention the fact that this constant over indulgence in anything and everything, and i don't know, this ever expanding overprotective layer makes me want to scream. Or laugh out loud, like when Rishabh actually thought i was depressed enough to try something crazy or life threatening!)

I guess thats what happens when you in a college where every student has his future planned out to the last full stop and knows exactly how to go about it. I wonder when will i be able to get into that one track frame of mind. Can't wait enough i assure you. And am sure my father can't either, though to his credit he never pressurizes me. Would like to see me focussed i guess. And well, i do hope this pathetic excuse of a result drives me enough to actually slog my ass till November and clear my exams. Ah, if wishes were horses now...