Saturday, December 20, 2008


For the past few days, a number of my friends have been having problems in the 'girls department'-- why did she leave me? what are they looking for in a guy? how do i ask a girl out? what do you look for in a guy? and the like...

They seem to think that one person's tastes and preferences, thinking etc is somehow applicable on the whole race. I don't know what is it that attracts ALL females towards a guy per se, or what keeps that attraction there. So here is an attempt. Any more questions and i send you right on this page ;)

One thing i have noticed, atleast among my friends and those around me, is that a girl doesn't go for a guy simply for his looks. Sure, they would like their men to be decent looking, tall, lean, strong and what not. But thats merely an add on, not a prerequisite. And fair guys, especially those fairer than the girl are a usual no. Sorry, but atleast in most cases. They usually believe that a man's looks and brains don't usually go together.  If a man looks good, generally either he won't know how to talk, or be gay. And unfortunately, most use it as a thumb rule which hasn't been proved wrong. MOSTLY.

Personally i feel an ordinarily decent looking guy is a lot better than a perfectly chiselled greek god. Why? Because sooner or later the charm wears off and you are looking for a way out. Whereas, with a normal regular guy it is sort of the opposite. Reasons:
a) when you are attracted, you know for a fact that its not just the looks and that you "appreciate them for who they are"
b)you notice smaller details about them over time as they grow on you.

Besides this, he ought to be able to understand you without you having to put everything into words, without feeling that you need to justify your actions. You should be able to feel secure about the fact that somewhere down the line his insecurities, ego and competitiveness are not going to come forward and wreck it all. Silences shouldn't be awkward and filled with a need to out in words to avoid them.You should be... i don't know... able to feel ok just sitting around each other simply doing your own thing without grudging each other that. And yes, please don't expect her to always do all the understanding. Being the female, she is expected to understand the situation, understand HER emotion and YOURS as well. Then, she is expected to accommodate hers in a way which would spare your ego any sort of pain. AND THEN expected to forget all about it. NOT fair.
Yes, a guy should be protective, assertive, possessive and willing to play Lochniver for his damsel. All fairy tales teach us that. But what is EQUALLY important is not to get overprotective, aggressive, obsessive OR unnecessarily take up our fights for us. That is i guess what differentiates chivalry from chauvinism.It is a great feeling to know you can depend upon someone for their support irrespective of the magnitude of the problem.

The biggest thing however, is DON'T try to cover up your weaknesses with false bravado and machismo. Trust me, we might be credited with a pea sized brain but even through that we are able to see through the facade mostly. And WHEN that happens it makes everything about you seem like one big illusion- the good points fade, the bad ones get highlighted. So yeah, stick with facts. But that doesn't mean you whine about them. Simply let them be what they are-- facts about you.

And here, i end my monologue. Comments are welcome. :)

PS: this whole post is based on what i've observed or seen around me-- the likes, preferences and dislikes. On reading through, the portrait conjured seems to be a tough one to live upto. In case you do, FIND A GIRL WORTHY OF YOU! ;)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

US and us

"Post attacks, Bush sends Rice to India", reads the headlines of one of the articles in a daily today. The reason for the visit-- but obviously the Mumbai siege.It is to 'show US's solidarity with the people of India and hold the extremists responsible', as more commonly being propogated. However, a bigger and more valid reason is the loss of American lives that has spurred it into action, as against its usual stand of distancing itself from the multiple terrorist attacks that India has suffered over the years.

Moreover, the recent chill in Indo-Pak ties after the Mumbai carnage and its possible repurcussions is another major reason. The US would not like any unilaterally punitive measures by New Delhi to adversely impact its war on terror along Pak's western front. Hence, the US is seeking to temper New Delhi's response and come up with jointly beneficial options.
This appears to be an undermining of the Indian sovereignty to a certain extent, as many would have us believe, especially since the US support seems to be more for its own benefit. And to a certain extent, it wouldn't be a wrong conclusion.

But then again, this sort of outside intervention, even if it might be for their own interesr, is welcome at this point. For hasn't the inability of our successive governments and our ineptness to deal with the scourge of terrorism harmed us enough? One might accuse the Americans of ALWAYS selfishly putting their own interests ahead of everyone else's, even when seemingly offering support, but can they deny the fact that if any country knows how to take care of its own, its America? No, for no matter whether its one life or 6 lives or hundreds of lives, they will never back away from punishing the guilty.
Furthermore, US support, in the form of intelligence aid, including technological inputs, collaboration of the US investigative agencies with the Indian agencies, etc. is too necessary to be frowned upon.

As per the article referred to earlier, one of the actions being informally considered is to strive for a UN resolution empowering a coalition of the affected countries to dismantle terrorist camps in Pakistan, including Pakistan occupied Kashmir.These affected countries include India, US, UK, China and Russia, and also some countries from the European Union and Israel due the loss of lives suffered by them in the Mumbai siege.

What will be the result of all this, remains to be seen. However, what makes THIS tragedy different (apart from the scale of loss suffered) is the unequivocal response that it has generated the world over, which goes beyond the usual condolences. Hopefully all this will bear fruit and arouse those in charge enough to work together for avoidance of similar pathetic tragedies in the future.