Friday, March 27, 2009


You get up, go to college, sit for exams, screw yourself. Meet people, laugh with them. Whether you find their jokes funny or not. You sit through classes, sit through work. Then you are on your way home. On the way you decide to take a detour. Go to the bakery, look around. Grab a thing or two. Benetton sale. Some funny memories pop up in the head. Grin, looking at the people grab whatever they can lay their hands on, dig into your chocolate eclaire, walk towards home.
The wind...wonderful. Wonder why people complain about the poor thing all the time. In winters too cold, in summers too dry and hot. Maybe in the extreme weather. Right now, its calm, pleasant and refreshing. Slaps your face when you are in danger of getting lost. Ugh. Twilight. Worst and the most hated part of the day. Quicken your pace. Can't wait for the dark. Get home. Talk with mum, jump around, crack some patent lame ones, have some potato chips. Then go to the room and get under the sheets. To get some sleep. Switch lights off. Its nice and cosy. Just you and the darkness. Some find it eery and brooding. Not you. Darkness lets you be. Covers for you. No one can see whether you sleep or lie awake with your thoughts. It makes you think. About things without any preconceived ideas, prejudices, without letting you make the things less painful and more factual. Doesn't let your vision color. You lie and think. Think and know your own mind. Know your mind and deal with facts. Deal with facts and accept them. In the meantime you let the tears flow. Let the silent sobs out. More than a year it has been. A year of pretending to others and yourself that it didn't matter. That it would be the way you want it, sometime. But the reality strikes in darkness. And with it comes a relief. Finally putting an end to it all.

People say teenagers or people in their 20s are dramatic, extreme, idealistic. But i disagree. This is life. Life happens to everyone. Period.