...AND IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN! :)

a year that started on a horrible note... the first of january.. the date is etched in my memory forever. felt as if the things ending on a horrible note that would govern the rest of the year..
and maybe it did, but not everything... :)

the year in which i failed, and failed again, when i disappointed myself, disappointed so many others..
the year in which i hit the bottom of that U again, and painfully crawled my way out of, all the time feeling how it would be infinitely easier to simply rot there..
the year where i lost all belief- in myself, in Him, in everything. when the words 'motivation', 'willpower', 'trust'  and 'strength' went out of my vocabulary..
the year in which people who were closest to me hurt me, changed me and transformed me forever, a period during which i believed we could never be the same again.

...the year in which i fought my demons, by myself, time and again..
the year i learnt how to forgive, how to let slights pass, how not to let one off things affect my relationships.
the year in which i realized how much emotionally stronger and self dependent i was than most..
the year when i came across so many new and wonderful people, found how unlike yet alike we were..
the year my trust and faith in Him were shaken, then reaffirmed..
the year when, in spite of mental exhaustion, burnout, lack of motivation, i didn't give up..
the year i met someone wonderful, and realized it's okay to trust and depend on someone occasionally.

A year in which i both lost and found myself..

i can't believe it's already coming to an end. so much has happened in these 12 months, yet it feels like just a few days.
it's been good and bad... wonderful and not quite. met some people, lost some people. certain new equations were built, and some old ones lost their sheen. but hopefully the new ones will be able to evolve and stand the test of time and uncertainty.. and old ones won't be lost forever. hopefully soon enough, it will be possible to put the complications and anger aside, and start over on a clean slate.

as for the new year that swiftly approaches, the feelings are quite nicely captured in these lines by Christina Rossetti.. 

New Year coming on apace
What have you to give me?
Bring you scathe, or bring you grace,
Face me with an honest face;
You shall not deceive me:
Be it good or ill, be it what you will,
It needs shall help me on my road,
My rugged way to heaven, please God.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, WORLD! hope it brings you good cheer, good luck and everything that you hope for and work towards.

'Cause I've had the time of my life
Yes I swear it's the truth 
and I owe it all to you.. :)

TRAAAAAAA LA LA

something has changed.
can't quite figure where.
can't quite figure how.
can't put a finger on it.
but it's somewhere inside me.
i guess it is about what D said.
only after that first bite you know what you were missing.
and well, i am HAPPY!
if i could write poetry, if it came as naturally to me as prose,
i would fill pages in expressing myself.

heh. heh heh.

...

ये रौशनी के साथ क्यूं
धुआं उठा चिराग से
ये रौशनी के साथ क्यूं
धुआं उठा चिराग से
ये ख्वाब देखती हूँ मैं
कि जग पड़ी हूँ ख्वाब से?


(Why does the wisp of smoke

dull the glow from the lamp
Is this all a dream,

or have I awakened
from one?)

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN MISS K AND HER C- 3

Hold not your anger within you, for not only does it spoil the memory of that which is precious to you and inside you and yours to cherish; it also poisons the future. It spoils that which is yet to come, embitters and affects the sweetest of dispositions, leaving behind nought but a shadow of that which was once unique.

The memories are yours, the pain is yours. Let the memories bring a smile on those lips when a frown clouds that bow; let the pain make you stronger and prepare you for that which is yet to come.

You are but a projection of all that resides within, whether good or bad. That which lives in there, in the depths of your being, warms the blood that flows in your veins. That blood warms the mind and the thoughts that it shields. The mind warms the brain that thinks, hence brightening all that you believe and all that you are.

Trust. Believe. Love. Give. Forgive. Feel. Emote.
Show.
Cherish.
And once your work is done, once there is nothing left to look forward to, move on.
Leave the regrets behind. Leave the pain of parting behind. Think of what is to come. So many more to meet, so much more to see.
The world, this universe, its mysteries.. They're unfathomable. There's so much to see! So much to feel! The tangible..the intangible.

Your dreams,when you dreamt them, were bigger, brighter. Never put reigns on them, not for anything, not for anyone. Even when they seem difficult to attain. The more difficult they are, the more determined you ought to be.

Don't hold back. Don't hold it in. Let the imagination soar to the hitherto undiscovered heights. Once their, open your eyes. Get on your feet and get going. To start working to make those dreams happen..

9 PM
never count your chickens before they hatch... similarly, never count your joys before the day ends. you never know when you might jinx it. especially if you and Murphy share a special bond, something on the lines of yours truly...

10.35 PM
it also greatly depends on how you deal with it. a simple apology can make a world of a difference, and make you feel all warm and better inside. of course, all the remaining effects can be overcome with a fifteen minute conversation with a friend who's standing in the cold, outside his own house, trying to make you feel better.. :)

MY HAPPY PLACE!

i am exceptionally happy right now. i think it might have something to do with having the eleven hour sleep i had last night (!!!!!), or maybe the fact that the weekend has been great almost brilliant, or maybe the fact that i finally implemented my decision to get under a blanket and do absolutely nothing except read my LOTR, or maybe the fact that the chocolate walnut cake i have just baked has come out fantastic (even if the icing is PRETTY screwed up), or maybe simply the fact that i am surrounded by some really amazing people, and getting to know more and more of those...

whatever it is, i am in a good place right now. my happy place. and yes, very comfortable and settled for the moment. :)

MISSISSIPPI FREESTYLIN' !

GIVE ME SOME MEDICINE FOR MY PAIN
CHASE THE DRAGON INTO MY VEINS...REFRAIN
MURDAH ON THE EDGE OF TOWN
NOW BABYLON FLEET COME TO HUNT WE DOWN
BLUE LADY AND A STEELY DAN
LAUGHING IN THE PITS OF THE PROMISED LAND
HIGH TRICKERY OF THE TRIPLE SIX
WHILE THE MIDNIGHT ROBBERS
MAKE ANOTHER HIT

I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY
MISSISSIPPI FREESTYLIN
I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY
YEH YEH

WITHOUT PITY THE GAME OF LIFE WE PLAY
WE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE AND NOTHING TO GAIN
WORD UP WE MAKE ANOTHER ROUND
RAPE THE STREETS WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN
MAN IS ONLY AS WEAK AS HIS PAIN
LOSE THE PAIN ENJOY THE FAME
MIDNIGHT ROBBERS OUTLAW THE LAW
IN THE BLACK OF NIGHT WE COMIN FOR MORE

OBEAH BUSH DOCTOR
BROWN SUGAR TAKE YA MONEY FROM YA
AT THE CROSSROADS
WE MAKE A U-TURN TO SOON
HIT N RUN BLUE LADY JUST FOR FUN
EIGHT IN NINE MAKE THE BEAST FEEL FINE
DRINK ALL HIS WINE EVERYTIME EVERYTIME
GIVE ME GASOLINE FOR MY PAIN
I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE AND NOTHING TO GAIN

I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY
MISSISSIPPI FREESTYLIN
I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY
YEH YEH

Verse of The Rings

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,

 Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, 

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne 

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. 

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, 

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them 

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

...

And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality

UNTITLED

Scattered lives,
Scattered conscience.
Broken bonds,
Broken promises.
Insignificant attempts,
Insignificant desires.
Lone ranger,
Lone miles.

A LI'L BIT OF THIS, A LI'L BIT OF THAT...

came face to face with a ghost tonight, a phantom that has haunted me for a while now.
 it was like, seeing your nightmare right there, infront of you.
OR...
that's what i thought till i realized that,
it was nothing more than a mirage that i had somehow conjured, that went BUST!
it was something i had built up in my head for a long while.
something i had thought was too hard to deal with for me.
but then when i came across it, it was nothing.
the anticipation didn't live upto the actual performance.
it was nothing... it did nothing to me, no emotions whatsoever.
and it made me realize... i have moved on. much further than i ever thought.
things that once hit me hard, once affected me, don't really matter anymore.
people who mattered, they have become a part of the past.
it's like a memory, all of it..
a memory that i am trying to avoid as of now, because i don't want to deal with it.
but a memory nonetheless, which i HAVE relegated to the past.
yes i have, lock stock and barrel.
when i cared, it was with everything i had.
but the moment the tie was broken, everything fizzled out with that.
there is no baggage, no luggage, no cargo.
and it feels wonderful... it feels like i can breathe again.
i feel like i can rise up and stretch my hand once again,
that if i jump, i could probably touch the sun!
for anyone who doubted me when i did make the decision,
yes, i can handle it. yes, i have handled it. and yes, i bloody well can.
because i know what i am looking for, and i know how to reach out to it now.. :)

PS- NOBODY disrespects my mum dad and leaves unscathed. not even phantoms. they better remember this the next time.

1) I am in a good GOOD mood!
2) i still think Twilight is one of most ridiculous bits of fantasy fiction, EVER. kill me. HA!

ok thanks. :)

DREAMS... OH, DREAMS

I have a dream, a song to sing,
to help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of the fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail

(Though i know longer believe in angels,
i somehow still believe there is
something good in everything i see)

I have a dream, a fantasy, to help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile

(Though i no longer believe in angels,
i will still cross the stream,
when i know the time is right for me)

I have a dream, a song to sing, to help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail

I have a dream, a fantasy, to help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile

ok. so i am kinda sick of the entire Twilight obsession that's taking over this world. I mean COME ON! it's crazy, all of it, from head to toe. People who are going nuts about the books, the movies, EDWARD (for god's sake!), and that werewolf kid... what's his name... oh yeah, Jack. wait.. is it? Whatev.

The point is, everything about it is so stupid, so corny and so senseless! There's an underage girl who falls in love with a century old shiny sparkling gem of a vampire, a werewolf who is 15 years old and acts like he just celebrated his own 100th birthday, AND THEN there's that underaged girl's new born baby, whom the said werewolf 'imprints'...

i mean... PEDOPHILIA, anyone?! what's got into the world?! is this what romance and love is about?
are we seriously silly and immature enough to confuse an almost compulsive need for attention with love? is love all about having someone prove their worth again and again and again, and still rejecting them, keeping them hanging on, as if their only purpose in life is to be at your beck and call when you are bored with your actual flame? is it a nutty obsession which surpasses everything else, including remote bits of common sense? 

MANN KE MANJEERE

Was just listening to some old songs from the 90s... and Shubha Mudgal, as usual, stood out. That powerful beautiful voice, matched with those equally strong lyrics. This one is from a series of BreakThrough videos, which help spread awareness about various social issues. 


PS- Meeta Vashisht is a brilliant actor in my opinion.

मन के मंजीरे आज खनकने लगे
भूले थे चलना, कदम थिरकने लगे
अंग अंग बाजे मृदुंग सा, सुर मेरे जागे
सांस सांस में बांस बांस में,
धुन कोई  साजे
गाये रे, दिल ये गाने लगा है,
मुझको आने लगा है
खुद पे ही ऐतबार
खुद पे ही ऐतबार


बादल तक झूले मेरे पहुँचने लगे,
आँखों के आगे गगन सिमटने लगे,
डाल डाल पे, ताल ताल पे , छु के हवाएं
खेत खेत ने, रेत रेत ने, फैलादी बाहें
आये है, सिन्दूरी सुबाह आई,
घुलती जाए सियाही
रातों की रातों की


खोले जो दरवाज़े तो देखा हर शाई थी नयी
उजली उजली सी थी मेरी तन्हाई रे
बदली बदली सी बदली मेरे अंगना में थी छाई
वीरानी रानी बन के मेरे पास आई
अपनी नज़र से मैंने देखि दुनिया की रंगोली
मुझको बुलाने आई मौसम को टोली
खोली आँखों की खोली मैंने पायी अपनी बोली
मुझमे ही रहती थी मेरी हमजोली रे ..
सुन लो.. अब ना अकेली हूँ मैं,
अपनी सहेली हूँ मैं,
साथी हूँ अपनी मैं
साथी हूँ अपनी मैं


मन के मंजीरे आज खनकने लगे
भूले थे चलना, कदम थिरकने लगे
अंग अंग बाजे मृदुंग सा, सुर मेरे जागे
सांस सांस में बांस बांस में,
धुन कोई  साजे
गए रे, दिल ये गाने लगा है,
मुझको आने लगा है
खुद पे ही ऐतबार
खुद पे ही ऐतबार


बादल तक झूले मेरे पहुँचने लगे,
आँखों के आगे गगन सिमटने लगे,
दाल दाल पे, ताल ताल दे, छु के हवाएं
खेत खेत ने, रेत रेत ने, फैलादी बाहें
आये है, सिन्दूरी सुबाह आई,
घुलती जाए सियाही
रातों की रातों की
रातों की रातों की

THIS IS WHY I LOWVE MY PEOPLE - 4

K- E, you have no idea... yada yada yada... yada yada yada..


E- Dude. you ARE yellow bus special! WHY would you even THINK about something so useless when there's something special in store? i mean SERIOUSLY?
and... YOU HAVE NO IDEA. all this shit in your life is better than being bitten by a dog. trust me... (she recently got bitten by a dog, and got about 3 anti rabies injections in one go).
Kritika, you're the normal one here, believe me. your biggest problem is, you are surrounded by way too many abnormal ones.


hahahahahahaha! hahahahaha! i lowve you. :)

sometimes, it's when you are able to laugh at your problems, and look at the ridiculous side of them, you suddenly realize how lame you have been acting.
sometimes, it takes a friend ridiculing the whole situation and the people involved that helps you realize that the problem isn't as serious as you thought it was. it's when THEY laugh at it, help you look at the stupidity and immaturity of it all, when you realize how bizarre all of it is. helps you let go, like nothing else does. helps you feel whole again, realize that it's NOT you, not your fault.
small petty things, insignificant people... why in the world should they or anything else matter, even for a minute? who gives a flying fuck about them anyway?! you gotta keep things in perspective. sift and sort, sift and sort. when there are ten things going for you and one thing going against you, just forget the damned thing, and concentrate your energies where it matters, where they count.

sigh. and all it took, was a pack of cloves, hot coffee, a brilliant nippy evening, cold wind in my face, and some good company. cathartic, all of it.

PS- i am surrounded by some really amazing people. and it's at times like these that i realize this fact. :)

funny how relationships become overlapping, how your relationship with someone is affected to such a marked extent by someone else's equation with them. how they themselves realize it to a degree, and know how it might be thus affected... and how, correspondingly, their behaviour towards you changes or varies.

also, funnier still is how you sooner than later realize where you stand in their lives, how, no matter what you do, and no matter how they might be disgusted with someone or something that they complain to you about, they might still be more important.

funniest of them all? how the smallest of things can make you wonder if you ever really truly did mean anything at all..

ah well.. such is life, isn't it? you give some, you lose some. then again, you also learn some.. :)

"Jacob, the world's run on tricks. EVERYONE PLAYS. but it's having a true talent, a gift born within, something no degree can give you.... (a toast) To TALENT AND DELUSION!"

The Way I Feel

I feel like I’m floating through existence
I feel like I’m living after time
I feel like I’m forced to break the silence
Is that a crime? Is that a crime?
I feel like we’re all following shadows
And shadows they don’t know where to go
I feel like I’m waiting for tomorrow
While today wastes away

It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s not that I haven’t noticed
It’s driving me insane
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s just the way I feel
It’s just the way I feel

I feel like a child without a father
And mama tries oh lord knows mama tries
I feel like the world is on my shoulder
I wonder why, wonder why
I feel like I’m not the only one who’s frustrated
I feel like something’s going wrong
I can’t escape it
I feel like the destinies of those meant
To be the best
Are in the hands of liars now the world is on fire

I feel like we’re not angry enough
That while we wait, time’s ticking away
I feel there’s gonna be an explosion!

It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s not that I haven’t noticed
It’s driving me insane
It’s not that I don’t know
It’s not that I can’t see
It’s just the way I feel
It’s just the way I feel

this one is for someone who took away my moroseness today. THANK YOU! the surprise was really sweet, and well, so were the chocolates :)

you did pass on the happiness as you promised, and it stayed. just so you know, i am completely out of that phase now. and the two reasons for that happen to be the upcoming outstation audit, and your surprise.

PS- to kill the suspense, THIS POST was for you. too bad you didn't guess it. lol. took away half the fun. :)

BRING ME TO LIFE

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home


Wake me up
Wake me up inside
I can't wake up
Wake me up inside
Save me
Call my name and save me from the dark


Wake me up
Bid my blood to run
I can't wake up
Before I come undone
Save me
Save me from the nothing I've become


Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life


Wake me up
Bid my blood to run
I can't wake up
Before I come undone
Save me
Save me from the nothing I've become

I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life


Without thought, without voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life


I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life

Now I will tell you what I've done for you -
50 thousand tears I've cried.
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -
And you still won't hear me.
 Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under
 

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under

YOU ARE THE AUTHOR AND THE HERO

i have to stop looking for my story elsewhere.. i need to stop looking for it in the books i read, the movies i watch, the people i observe, the music that i listen to and the words that i hear.

they were not written about me, not made about me. the beautiful images that they spin, the pathos that accompany them, the pain, the tragedy, the joy and the satisfaction.. they are not mine.

the script of my life has NOT been written yet. it is still a work in progress. and it can NOT progress unless and until i work on it.

"...the individual writes and performs the script for his
or her own life. Neither chance nor a divine being writes the script for us.
We write it, and we are the actors who play it.
You are the author and the hero. To perform your play well, it is important to
pound the script into your head so thoroughly that you can see it vividly before
your eyes."


dreams are beautiful even when they are tragic. but at the end of the day, they ARE but dreams. they end soon as your eyes open. they leave you disoriented, if you forget to make a distinction between what's but a mirage, and what's the reality.
dream, believe, feel, imagine. let your imagination soar. test your boundaries with the power of your imagination.
then get off your ass and make it happen. it's YOUR life. YOU got to live it the way you see it, not simply see it happen to someone else and then look for satisfaction or sadistic pleasure in what enfolds in their's.

"the reason i keep bringing it up is because i don't ever want you to be disillusioned. i was a believer once too, but reality sunk in soon enough. but i don't want the same to happen with you. i don't want you to stop believing."
don't you worry... i won't be.

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS
I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

FADE
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

..On my wall the colours of the maps are running
From Africa the winds they talk of changes coming
The torches flare up in the night
The hand that sets the farms alight
Has spread the word to those who're waiting on the border

In the village where I grew up
Nothing seems the same
Still you never see the change from day to day
And no one notices the customs slip away

Late last night the rain was knocking at my window
I moved across the darkened room and in the lampglow
I thought I saw down in the street
The spirit of the century
Telling us that we're all standing on the border

In the islands where I grew up
Nothing seems the same
It's just the patterns that remain
An empty shell
But there's a strangeness in the air you feel too well..

LET'S UNCOMPLICATE, SHALL WE?

..On my wall the colours of the maps are running
From Africa the winds they talk of changes coming
The torches flare up in the night
The hand that sets the farms alight
Has spread the word to those who're waiting on the border

In the village where I grew up
Nothing seems the same
Still you never see the change from day to day
And no one notices the customs slip away

Late last night the rain was knocking at my window
I moved across the darkened room and in the lampglow
I thought I saw down in the street
The spirit of the century
Telling us that we're all standing on the border

In the islands where I grew up
Nothing seems the same
It's just the patterns that remain
An empty shell
But there's a strangeness in the air you feel too well..

I feel free, like i have somehow finally broken free of the shackles that had tied me down.
And no, it's not the exam related stress that i am refering to here. It's so much more.
Exam stress had simply brought it all to the fore, making me feel everything so much more minutely and strongly.
But something has changed, something within me, and changed for the better i believe.
It was something that Dev said, which for once made absolute sense.
I won't say here what it was, but suffice to say, it was one his rare (very rare, heh) gems.
We have quite a few of those discussions, but nothing he has said in all these years has made as much
sense as that one sentence yesterday.
And you know what, when you think about it, you realize that you unnecessarily complicate things.
You think about something so much, you add so many dimensions to one simple thing, that it becomes this
monstrous problem, which makes you think about everything, analyze everything, evaluate everything.
Why do that? Why at all? When you did something, said something, felt something, you did it because it felt right.
Then why spoil it all, now, by analyzing the reasoning of your decision at that time?
And, when you know that something is bothering you, why make it worse by trying
to figure it out more? Why not let it be, ignore it and distance yourself from it?
It's such a simple thing to do, and dare i say, something i am much experienced in.
Problems become so big and all encompassing because we make them so, because we let them matter so.

You always, ALWAYS have an option. Depends on what option YOU decide to go along with.
If you decide to let something bother you, you lose the right to complain.
And it's absolutely lame on your part to blame anyone else for making you miserable.
The only time you can miserable is when you choose to be so.
And i for one, am tired of it. I am a happy person! Always have been! Why change that?
I have never before let anything become so big a bother in my head, so why now?
Everything is so amazing when you choose to let it be so. For every one bad deal you are dealt, there are about five good ones to compensate for it.

Life is like a SWOT analysis if you think about it... you've got your Strengths, Weaknesses, the Opportunities and Threats.
Maximize your strengths and make full use of the opportunities.
Minimize the impact of your weaknesses, blunt them, to defend against the threats..
It's that simple really! :)

HOW COULD I HAVE NOT POSTED THIS?!

THIS... this, is one of my oldest favorites. A brilliant BRILLIANT song by Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. The lyrics, the music... everything. Unlikely as it is, it always has me up on my feet, dancing and throwing myself around. The energy, the spirit of the song.. it's contagious! LOWVE EET!


PIYA RE...
.

JO MAIN NAINA KARUN BAND BAND..

i know i know... it's pretty old. but it's still beautiful, and one of my all time favorites... :)

Rooh ka banjara re parinda
Chhad gaya dil ka re gharonda
Chhad gaya dil ka re gharonda todke
Re gharonda todke, gaya chhodke

Je naina karun band band
Beh jaye boond boond (2)
Tadpaye re, kyun sunaye geet malhar de

Bemalang tera iktara (8)

Itra tun basi basi, padi hai sirhane
Band darwaja dekhe lauti hai subah
Thandi hai angeethi seeli, seeli hain deewarein
Goonje takrake inme dil ki sada
Goonje hai re (2) dil ki sada

Jo naina karun band band
Beh jaye boond boond
Tadpaye re, kyun sunaye geet malhar de

Bemalang tera iktara (8)

I'M HUMMING...

GYM CLASS HEROES

[Adam Levine]
My heart's a stereo

It beats for you, so listen close

Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote

Make me your radio

And turn me up when you feel low

This melody was meant for you

To sing along to my stereo

[Travie McCoy]
If I was just another dusty record on the shelf

Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else

If I asked you to scratch my back, could you manage that

(unintelligible, but NOT "... read well, check it") Travie, I can handle that

Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping tracks

It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks

I used to used to used to used to, now I'm over that

Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts
If I could only find a note to make you understand

I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hands

To keep me stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune

And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you

[Chorus]
My heart's a stereo

It beats for you, so listen close

Hear my thoughts in every note
Make me your radio

And turn me up when you feel low

This melody was meant for you

To sing along to my stereo

[Travie McCoy]
If I was an old-school, fifty pound boombox

Would you hold me on your shoulder, wherever you walk

Would you turn my volume up in front of the cops

And crank it higher every time they told you to stop

And all I ask is that you don't get mad at me

When you have to purchase mad D batteries

Appreciate every mixtape your friends make

You never know, we come and go like on the interstate
I think finally found a note to make you understand

If you can hit it, sing along and take me by the hand

T' keep me stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune

And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you

[Chorus]
My heart's a stereoIt beats for you, so listen close

Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote
Make me your radio

Turn me up when you feel low

This melody was meant for you

To sing along to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, to sing along to my stereo

[Bridge]
I only pray you'll never leave me behind (never leave me)

Because good music can be so hard to find (so hard to find)

I'll take your head and hold it closer to mine

Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind

[Chorus]
My heart's a stereoIt beats for you, so listen close

Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote
Make me your radio'N turn me up when you feel low

This melody was meant for you

To sing along to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, to sing along to my stereo

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS...

running and running... running so hard. yet, stopping right in the middle, waiting for you to catch up with me, before i start the race again... no one around, nothing else around. a gripping dread. but also an assurance somewhere deep inside. both equally justified.

sometimes it's an ocean, sometimes it's a dead road. but always the night. always me, alone. me alone, running. alone, yet not quite.
abstract, so abstract. i cant see my own face, i cant see your face.
i don't know if you are good, i don't know if you are bad. yet i am running from you. irrationally.
only because i don't know you. only because i don't understand you. only because i can't see you.
all i know is, you are there somewhere, right behind me, running after me.

what is it? why is it? years and years... yet the same dream. a dream? or a nightmare?
 i don't even know.
feels like a nightmare sometimes. but then again, if thats what it really was,
why would i stop in my tracks, waiting for you to catch up?

and all it ends with, ever, is a cold sweat. and me sitting up in the bed, trying not be scared of the shadows, trying to convince myself that there is nobody there apart from me and mona... nobody is standing next to me, the presence i feel and fear, even in these known surroundings, is an unjustified irrational fear.

all i do, is wake mona up, hold her hand, and close my eyes, holding onto it, hoping i will fall asleep soon enough...

LET IT BE...

the power of lyrics... the play of words... whether the color for the moment is blue, black, red, grey, green, white or yellow... there is always a bit of verse for everything..

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND! :)

The latest song we have up on the Top Tunez site... it's a wonderful cheerful melody that will have you nodding your head and tapping your feet with the music!

Check it out!

HEY JULIE
Working all day for a mean little man
With a clip-on tie and a rub-on tan
He's got me running 'round the office like a dog around a track
But when I get home,
You're always there to rub my back


Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through without you around

Hours on the phone making pointless calls
I got a desk full of papers that means nothing at all
Sometimes I catch myself staring into space
Counting down the hours 'til I get to see your face


Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through with out you around
No, I'd never make it through with out you around

[Bridge]
How did it come to be
That you and I must be
Far away from each other every day?
Why must I spend my time
Filling up my mind
With facts and figures that never add up anyway?
They never add up anyway

Working all day for a mean little guy
With a bad toupee and a soup-stained tie
He's got me running 'round the office
Like a gerbil on a wheel
He can tell me what to do
But he can't tell me what to feel


Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through with out you around
No, I'd never make it through without you around
No, I'd never make it through with out you around

The Human Side

"Our time is distinguished by wonderful achievements in the fields of scientific understanding and the technical application of those insights. Who would not be cheered by this? But let us not forget that human knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. Humanity has every reason to place the proclaimers of high moral standards and values above the discoverers of objective truth. What humanity owes to personalities like Buddha, Moses, and Jesus ranks for me higher than all the achievements of the enquiring and constructive mind.
What these blessed men have given us we must guard and try to keep alive with all our strength if humanity is not to lose its dignity, the security of its existence, and its joy in living."

EK WOH DIN BHI THE...

कुछ लोग पीछे छूट जाते हैं
यादें वोह अपनी छोड़ जाते हैं
उन्ही यादों के बारे में सोचो
तो कुछ पुराने किस्से याद आ जाते हैं
उन पुराने किस्सों की थी अपनी कहानी
जो हमने लिखी थी अपनी ज़ुबानी
उन दिनों की बात कुछ और थी
जब ज़िन्दगी न सिर्फ एक दौड़ थी|


अपने से लोग, अपने से चेहरे
वोह सीधे से सुलझे से सपने
जब किसी मुखोटे  पर न शक था
जब एक हसीं और आंसूं के बीच
सिर्फ एक मिनट का फरक था | 


माना यह सब पुरानी बातें हैं
मगर कभी कभी ये याद आ जाती हैं
जब तुम अपने बारे में सोचते हो
जब तुम उन लोगों के बारे में सोचते हो
जो कभी तुम्हारे साथ हर पल थे
लेकिन आज कोई इधर कोई उधर है
उन चेहरों की कहानी है तो पुरानी
मगर लगती है अकेले पल में सुहानी|


वोह अपने से लोग, अपने से चेहरे
जो अब हो गए हैं थोड़े धुंधले |

..And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack
All around the world was waking, I never could go back
Cos all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken

And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open
And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open

Snow White's stitching up the circuitboards
Synapse slipping through the hidden door
Snow White's stitching up the circuitboard

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a body in the garden
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world..

LIFE'S A DREAM

Miles till dawn
But it feels so dark till then
Drowns you out
But you can't be too certain

Common wants
Only fill me up with need
Everybody
In this world is just like me

So I row on

Sounds like fear
Thinking there might be a cure
Waste your life
But you don't know what it's worth

Comb your mind
For all the treasures of this earth
Too close to find
Anything outside yourself

So why row on
Life ain't nothing
But a dream
Realistic
As it seems

Destiny's vulgar
So I might as well resist
Out of the darkness
And all the secrets still exist

Finally decided
And by decide I mean accept
I don't need all those
Other chances I won't get

ANOTHER CHAPTER COMES TO AN END..

Something inside her died that night,
When the blinds were removed from her eyes;
All alibis have run their course,
She was, but a temporary recourse.

Another chapter comes to an end,
Broken pieces to pick and mend;
Walls of dreaming, once again shattered,
But then, to who but  her does it matter.

Another dawn, another morrow,
A chance new to forget the sorrow;
No longer shall the dreamers tarry,
As life beckons, they shall board the ferry.

... It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishment the scroll,

i AM the master of my fate:

i AM the captain of my scroll.

The one up above has His own was of making you aware of your insignificance in this world. One minute you are cribbing about how difficult everything around you is, when something happens that shakes you, and how. One minute you are sitting there, thinking that the biggest problem in this world right now is how to prepare for your exam tomorrow, and not think of anything that screws with your head. The fact that you are somehow managing to do that fills you with pride, makes you smug regarding how wonderfully capable you are of dealing with the biggest of problems.

The next second, you are bombarded with the news of sudden death of someone you practically grew up around, someone who was there when you were born, a part of that wonderful extended family that you grew up with, someone who was present at every important occasion since you were born. He was a part of that circle which has been a family since day one, for all practical purposes, people you have laughed with, laughed at, whose kids are your friends, whose wives are your mother's friends.. one of your dad's closest friends. You have grown up listening to the stories of how the five of these friends did this together, did that together, what vagabonds they were, how they had each other's back through EVERYTHING.

It shakes you, especially since just the other day he had been over at your place, laughing with your dad, having a good time. 

But even that doesn't have the same effect on you, as the sight and sound of your father. The man who has been your ideal always, who has been strong and positive through everything, your rock, the support of so many, not just his family... to see him affected. To see him grieve the loss of his friend. The one who, though older than him, always somehow brought out his protective side. To hear the catch in your dad's voice when he calls you from his friend's place, midday, to check on you, to see if you're doing ok... no words can express it. It twists your gut, changes your perception of the world, how you view it. THAT... can make you cry, even if the news of the death itself did not. Your heart goes out to him, everytime you think of how this very morning, before the news of the death, he was trying to cheer you up, making tea for you, how he got up early just to wake you up early... and how someone else's father will never be able to do any of this anymore. How Moushmi, Siddhart, Amrita, Supriya aunty will never be able to see their baba again, her husband again. How the 'Five' will never be the same again... Daddy, Raju uncle, Deepak uncle, Mukul Tauji, Sonu Uncle... the last one no more...

And all it took was a stupid drunk fuck who hit him, killed him and ran away. Fuck you, you hear me?! If there is any justice in this world, you won't one day of peace in your life from now on! Fuck you straight to hell! I hope you go through hell for every tear that is wept, everytime those poor kids realize their father is never coming back home, for everytime there is something for which the family needs Sonu Uncle.

May you find all the peace up there in heaven uncle, that ever eluded you here. And don't ever worry about the ones you left behind. They will always be taken care of.

JUM TAASH!

This is the third year in a row that i have missed both, the Dusshera and Diwali celebrations. And it sucks. For a lot of people it might be something ordinary, almost old fashioned. But they weren't born in this 'great Mathur clan' (as somebody has started addressing it! :) )

Holi, Rakhi, Dusshera, Diwali... they are many of those numerous occasions on which the entire extended family comes together to celebrate the occasion. Ofcourse, these are but excuses for meeting up and the bonhomie, for which there are plenty of other chances THROUGHOUT the year, but when you are born in this family, and take it for granted, the loneliness that hits you when you're not a part of it.. it's palpable.

Diwali and Dusshera usually entail a lot of preparations. Like, about two weeks in advance, it's decided as to who will be playing the host. Then, the yummy food items, drinks, snacks etc are distributed.

On the D Day, once you get to the destination, you loaf around, sit on the white bedsheet with 'Saket wale babaji/ nana/ chacha*' (that's what we call the septuagenarian, my dad's uncle!), who teaches the kids of the family how to play cards and various card tricks, while waiting for everyone to turn up.

Once all the families are there, everyone sits together for the puja. The funniest part is the ''current'' bit, where everyone is supposed to connect with someone, who is connected to the person in front of them, who is..till you are connected to the direct source of connection with God. Gives everyone plenty of chances to poke, pinch or annoy each other!

Once puja is over, everyone sits down to have the mithai and paapris and pudina chutney and all other assorted things which different families prepare and get, which are graded by the elders of the family. (And no one gets higher than 6, unless ofcourse, their paapris are exceptionally crisp and yummy!)

Post this comes the card session, where a special white bed sheet is laid, drinks prepared and distributed, and everyone gets down to business. Ooh, and there are two groups of these as well.. one, where the stakes are quite low, and the other, where they are comparatively higher. Initiation of the wee ones into the game is a (pseudo!) formal way of bringing the kids out, much like the official introduction of the kids-who-are-now-all-grown-up to to alcohol! Yes, you got that right! People in our family actually introduce the wee ones to their first sip of alcohol, sometimes when they are as young as a year or so old! :) ( Ofcourse, it is but a sip of their dad's scotch or Ramesh babaji*'s beer mug at that age! But still.. could any family be cooler?! )

Around 4-4.30, everyone is reminded of the lunch, which as already mentioned, is a pot luck. Some of the typical Mathur dishes are matar ki tahiri (matar/pea pulao), kadhi chawal, mutton pulao, mutton koftas, chicken curry, roomali roti (the paper thin soft white roti), bakar khani, (the sweet brown bread that's made only in Old Delhi)... (sob! makes me wanna drop the pizza am having right now).

Again, the pseudo grading of the preparations and the leg pulling ensues. Oh boy, everyone in my family is fond of pulling each other's leg and making that occasional jibe!

Once the lunch is over, comes the second session of cards. This time, the ones who are in the red, try and buck up their game and even things out soon as they can. 

Around 5.30, they usually deal the last game, post which is the "good luck" game, where in, open cards are dealt, 3 times, and in which everyone, including the tiny tots, has his cards dealt. Packing of the last deal signals the packing up of the game, which is followed by a mug of steaming hot tea, prepared in a HUUUUGE utensil. Everyone sits around for another hour or so, lazily sipping their tea and gossiping or making plans of the next party or occasion or discussing anything and everything which of common interest to most. Once done, everyone disperses to go back.

And this time, considering my parents' itinerary, i don't think they will be back anytime soon, which means i will be home all alone till then...

How i hate this! :'(

UNTITLED

Hey, man I'm alive I'm takin' each day and night at a time

I'm feelin' like a Monday but someday I'll be Saturday night...

Ever been in a situation where you realize that your weakest moment is but a revelation of your true self? How, when you are at your worst, you suddenly realize what it takes to survive. And that survive you can, on your own, without a shoulder, without any support.

Hell, at that point it doesn’t seem possible. It isn’t, not when months’ worth of frustration, anger, pressure, pent up emotions, uncertainty and whatever else suddenly burst out of you. They have you lying on the floor, shouting, crying, broken. It feels like nothing can take away from that pain. You, in your last attempt, summon whatever little self control you can, and call your best friend. But he, groggy from sleep, can’t understand you, nor can he stand your incoherence and refusal to divulge the details and reasons. You cut the call, and finally let yourself go. In the house, all alone, aching for someone, anyone to be with, you let go. You tear a tee to pieces, with your bare hands, hoping that would help the rage. You spend yourself, letting it all out.

Once you’re done, you sit up. Look around you. Try to gather yourself. Tell yourself you are strong enough, can handle it. You go back to what you were doing. You keep at it, urging yourself on, telling yourself you are more than capable to deal with it.

You feel better. A couple of hours later, you call another friend, looking for a much needed diversion, but unable to talk to him about whatever had happened. But he is angry with you. You’ve somehow unknowingly distressed him. You try and explain, but you are in no condition to argue your point. He hangs up on you. You make one last effort, then you let it be.

Then comes the second breakdown for the day, something new for you as well. But thankfully, your mother is home now. You can put your arms around her and vent, simply cry for the next half hour. Surprisingly, she understands the need for silence, and doesn’t plague you for reasons.

And you melt down, once again. Not as badly as before, but you do.

Two hours down, you are sane again. You’ve decided to stop being such a wreck and to sort yourself, for the sake of your sanity more than anything else. And fight it you do. All by yourself, not letting anyone see, for a second, the storm raging in your head. It’s taken you 2-3 days, but slowly, you have come to terms with the reality- once again. What’s that? It’s simple really...

When it really comes down to it, it’s just you. And that’s enough.

AGONIES OF THE INTERWEB

i am scared of the social media. and the fear, already of phobia proportions, is going to last a while i think. it evades your privacy, your mind space, can be used as a tool to either make or break something.. you name it, and it's possible. i don't like it. i detest it. suddenly. i just do.
hi5, orkut, facebook, blogger, twitter, linkedin, youtube.. hell, even y! messenger, gtalk, windows messenger... i've used everything.. EVERYTHING. i just feel like running away in the other direction when i think of it or hear about anymore. i guess it's just started ruling my life too much... not to mention the monotony that's set in. know that feeling when you looking at someone's wedding pictures, or farewell pics, people you haven't ever talked with while you were in college or school or wherever, and you have a million things to do, and like a moron, you sit and look at them and analyze their clothes. and god forbid you point them out to a friend on phone! there goes a good hour or two down the drain. ofcourse, the laughs and those gossip sessions are fun, but only while you talking. once done, hello guilty conscience! also, once you done, the whole "hmmm... what if someone else is sitting there, doing the exact same thing with MY pics and date?"... exactly. horrible feeling that.

YouTube! the boony bane of my existence! booney bane? well..that's when you get addicted to something, love it, every minute of it, but still know you should be as far away as possible from it!

not to mention what a voyeur it has made of all of us, me included. everything is out there, your every action, open to people's scrutiny, intrusion. either you go hide everything every second, or simply stop using it (rather difficult, considering 90% socializing happens online these days!), or just get used to it. that reality just hit home, a few days back, when someone i hadn't connected with for ages suddenly popped up in my gtalk window and started talking with me. to his usual queries of "whats up?", i was answering with the socially accepted "not much, you tell me.." when he is like.."come on! you got so much happening!" and "who is she? who is he? where is this pic from? what is this thing..." and so on. freaked me out. yes, it did. 

enough to get me off this damned thing (ALL THESE THINGS!) for a while at least!

hmmm.. might seem a little contradictory to everyone, considering i am still typing here, was active on facebook not too long ago, and watched a coupla videos on youtube a few minutes back. but this is my last interaction for a while now. rest assured...

toodles! see you when i see you next!

__________________________________________

UNTITLED

saw the writing on the wall last night...
a sense of deja vu is what describes it...
refuse to ignore the alarm bells this time...
choices have been made, once again...
and no explanations whatsoever could justify them..
not this time... not again.
'Self'will NOT be ignored... not again.

My Occurence

"See, with Ben, it's either of the 2 things- either your instincts are right, or your brain is trying to protect you from something. I say you've got pretty good instincts. Trust them..."


Hmm... 


HOLD ON HOPE- GUIDED BY VOICES
Every street is dark
And folding out mysteriously
Where lies the chance we take to be
Always working
Reaching out for a hand that we
can't see
Everybody's got a hold on hope
It's the last thing that's holding me
Invitation to the last dance
Then it's time to leave
But that's the price we pay
when we deceive
One another/animal mother
She opens up for free
Everybody's got a hold on hope
It's the last thing that's
holding me
Look at the talkbox in mute
frustration
At the station
There hides the cowboy
His campfire flickering
on the landscape
That nothing grows on
But time still goes on
And through each life of misery
Everybody's got a hold on hope
It's the last thing that's holding me

IF IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THE END OF THE ROAD, IT ISN'T...

ok... this is absolutely an unplanned post. as in, i had completely decided that i wouldn't be putting up anything more here till the time i was done with my exams. but then again, something got me here...

i was on my facebook page, just randomly going through the news feed on my home page, when i came across this image that someone had posted...

it said, focus on the red dot, and like the picture if the blue circle disappears. i usually pass things like these, but since Rishabh had liked this post, i decided to give it a go. and turns out that the blue circle actually disappears. now i dont wish to get into the scientific or psychological aspects of this.. but the reason this image had me writing this post was, it brought things back in perspective for me.

i haven't exactly been in the best of spirits recently. i hate talking about it because it gets everyone else around me all concerned and worried and they try and help me in any way they can, without realizing that they can't do anything about it unless i decide to help myself... anyway, so this pic reminded me of something i had written long back... and well, like i said, helped get things back in perspective..
this is the post i was talking about...

OF THE SUN AND THE CLOUDS...

FAR FROM HOME

Another day in this carnival of souls
Another night's sands end as quickly as it goes
The memories are shadows, ink on the page
And I can't seem to find my way home

And it's almost like your heaven's trying everything
Your heaven's trying everything to keep me out
All the places I've been and things I've seen
A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams
The faces of people I'll never see again
And I can't seem to find my way home

'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything to break me down
'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything to keep me out

'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything to break me down
'Cause it's almost like your heaven's trying everything
Your heaven's trying everything to break me down
To break me down, to break me down

Your heaven's trying everything
Your heaven's trying everything to break me down

BETTER MAN

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

TO THE FAMILIAR STRANGER...

Thank you for giving me something i didn't even know i needed. For being so unassuming and sorted. For the laughter and the jokes. For stepping in unobtrusively and drawing me out ever so quietly.
I don't know what i did to inspire such an open act of friendship. But whatever it is, I am glad i did...


M

She..

She wants to cry, but the tears won't come out.
She wants to talk, but the words won't come out.
She is scared. Petrified. Nervous. Agitated.
It's happening again..
She is clamming up..
And this time, the stakes are higher than they have ever been..
What does she do?
It is paralyzing her it seems. Or something inside her. She can sense it, sense the cold existence of that black cloud. But it's still so intangible.
And yet, she can't seem to react. It's making her go hide behind the walls and look at everything from a detached third person perspective. She can't talk about it, she can't express herself. She hears, but she doesn't listen, she speaks before she can think.. she is so absent minded.
But it's there, it's always there.
And it's scaring her..
Where words fail her, her psyche is acting up. It affects what she says, what she thinks, what she doesn't think, how she simply keeps running away from things, how she pays attention to what is absolutely unnecessary just because it gives her that much more time to hide.
First time in ages that she is being able to use words to express it, and now that she has started, they are flowing, and just won't stop..
She sees all that she is doing, she can see herself wreck it all, sabotage her own life, everything that she has worked for...
But she feels incapable of doing anything about it...
Because she is so far away. Because everything seems to be happening to a third person.
She needs faith... an answer... Something to believe in... Something that gets through her, affects her, penetrates through this iron shield that her protective reflexes have erected around her, making her incapable of really feeling, perceiving, understanding...

Read Somewhere...

"may the best of our past be the worst of our future"... 

Teardrops

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me, makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Nine nights of matter
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my...

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

You're stumbling a little
You're stumbling a little