no intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in it. -Fernando Pessoa
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
IF I COULD (By Maurice Yvonne)
Friday, August 4, 2017
I am now beginning to understand the differences between fairytale romance as we are exposed to, and real life love. In real life, the stories do not end with merely the girl and the boy walking away into the sunset hand in hand, after having won their love against all odds.
It goes beyond those small insignificant problems that you might have been used to thus far. It's about how you understand your partner. Whether you look at their feelings as being free of you/independent of you, or whether you look at them from your lens, and only stay fixated on yourself.
It's about expectations - where do you draw a line on what/how much you can expect from them.
It's about whether you recognize and respect your differences for real, accept that you both might be different as light and day, or do you try and colour the other in your colors, expect them to be like you, feel like you, love like you, be like you.
It's about NOT pretending. About having to feel the burden of always being right in the other person's eyes. Of taking that freedom of thought, emotions, actions and feelings for granted, and not feeling OBLIGATED to behave a certain way and act a certain way, afraid to be yourself for the fear of hurting the other.
It's about establishing trust, and not taking its existence for granted. It's about when somebody entrusts you with their confidence and considers you trustworthy enough to be themselves around you, to cherish and value that trust. To acknowledge that the person in front of you is an individual in their own right, and NOT someone you have chosen to merely echo your feelings and thoughts and opinions.
It's about giving as much as taking. When you want someone to be physically and emotionally invested in you, you need to ensure that you make it worth their while.
And more than anything else, it's about understanding that the relationship is worth it all only when you view your partner as an EQUAL, not just in words and on paper or while talking in social circles, but in your mind, actions, opinions and expectations.
Know that what you are, who you are, as an individual, stays. When you accept someone in your life and are willing to make them a permanent part of you, KNOW that you are putting them above all others in your life. But NEVER above yourself. And NEVER beneath yourself. Always an equal.
Thursday, June 22, 2017
Zindagi.. Kaisi Yeh Paheli Haaye!
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
It's really sad when it happens, but what might worsen the blow is a pre existing weakness in the other person, which you trigger unintentionally when you talk heedlessly.
And that's what i request of everyone who's reading this blog post.. Please, no matter how close you might be to someone, no matter whether they're your soulmates or childhood buddies or children or parents or whatever else.. Please please please, stop a minute before you say things to these people. It's not as much about how harsh or ordinary your words are, it's about the impact they have on the one who's listening. And surely, if they genuinely are as important to you as you claim, you would be aware of the potential impact of your words on them, nay? For what's most banal for you could be profuse for the other. And once the damage is done, the hurt cannot be simply wished away.. Nor the showdown that might follow it.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
It's 2 AM by the clock, and I'm still wide awake. Had a fabulous evening where the husband cooked an amazing dinner of veg potpourri and toast, post which we watched The Girl on The Train with a drink each. He's now pleasantly asleep, but sleep eludes me right now. So here I am, fixing myself some cup noodles and reading a good book while listening to some Eric Clapton. Can't say am missing sleep.. This solitude just feels too nice. :)
Ah well! Sweet dreams, you all!
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Now that I'm married and have become an aunt by extension, and have had the chance to observe some of those typical parents and children interactions, I can say that we as adults are less than perfect towards children in a number of ways! Because I feel that, in our wish to continuously protect them and be around them and shield them and feed them, we are smothering them. Even when we are right, I feel we are partly wrong. Why? Because we give them the answers even before they have asked a question! Because we feed into their tiny heads what they should or shouldn't do, even before they realize the choices in front of them. Because we want to protect them from the cold or the rain or the heat, irrespective of whether the weather is that formidable or not. Because we forget what it felt like when we were young, and loved to go out in the rain and get wet, or eat those ice lollies or run around in the sweat and the mud, or..
I see kids and their mothers and try and compare it with how it was when I was a child.. Were we also constantly told how to do this or that, wear this or that, eat this or that, think this way or that way?
I wonder if aren't we hampering their own experiences by cushioning them too much? By having one long list of DO's and DON'Ts, instead of raising disciplined individuals, aren't we raising biased individuals? Breathe please, and let them breathe as well!