NOT AT ALL A CHEESY POST ;)

Dear B

WHY, and HOW, are you so sensible and right, always? How is it that you have a solution to everything under the sun, and function under crisis as if the damned thing was planned to the last milestone? I am not USED to having such people around me, you see, the ones who have their head screwed on right and who are as balanced as you are! You are so much more concerned about my targets and my goals than i am, which is amazing and nice, but just a bit of a black spot on my otherwise spotless conscience, you see. Kindly share as to what you eat and drink, to keep it that way.

You get along with everyone, connect with all my friends at an individual, personal level and find something to talk about with everyone! And my sister, my own flesh and blood, prefers you over me! And not just her, HER FRIENDS as well! How weird is that? The Secret, please?

And while we are at it, could you also explain as to how you manage to be the most awesomely romantic guy on this planet without being sickly mushy? Your surprises, how i love them. How can you be the corporate slave that you are, and still manage them? You take the bar higher everytime i try to compete. Again, NOT good for my ego! :|

Oh, and how can i not mention your patience! I have done anything and everything i could think of under this sun, to test it and annoy you. But alas, i never do succeed. You are well aware of how i lack on that particular front, and HOW short tempered and impatient i am, right? So would you mind sharing a tip or two?

And, most importantly, would you kindly explain to me as to why does it seem like you have always been a part of my life and everything around me, when we started dating not 2 months back, and i was virtually unaware of your existence till 6 months before that?

Looking forward to a detailed reply,

Yours
G

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE...

something is really puzzling me. something is amiss. a certain someone insists on telling me something, going in excruciating details, whereas others simply say things to negate those very details. it's funny. i wonder whose version is true. and what's the need to lie anyway?! :|

YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW..

 “If you failed yesterday, strive to win today. If you were defeated today, strive to win tomorrow.” 

this wonderful lady has been kind enough to share her experiences with me, the tough times she has gone through in the last few years, and how she overcame them. Her troubles somehow seem to be very similar to what i am going through right now, what a lot of my friends are going through right now, even if they might not be as vocal about it as i am. She feels that sharing them with me will help me draw inspiration from her and help me fight my own devils. 

“Misfortune will change into fortune. Muster your faith and pray to this gohonzon. Then what is there that cannot be achieved.”

Now i do not practice Buddhism, neither this particular sect nor any other sect. But i do believe that putting your trust in a higher power, trusting something out there with infinite faith helps you get through your tough times. Some might roll their eyes at this. Maybe they are those rare brilliant examples of our race who have never been low on self confidence or somehow never doubted themselves or their motives. I have, quite often, and i am not ashamed to admit it. But i have also resolutely climbed out of those hellholes, on my own, BECAUSE of my belief that all is never lost, that there IS someone out there somewhere looking out for me. My faith has been shaken often, i have questioned it often, have come very close to losing it on a few occasions, the last one being very recently infact. The point is, most of us occasionally need something to hold onto, believe in when nothing else seems to be going right. And that, i think, is what she is trying to explain to me. Someone summed it up for me from somewhere a couple of months back... it's all about the eternal combination.. 1 quart faith and 3 quarts hard work.

Work, unwavering, diligent, honest hard work is the only way out.. complete focus and a willingness to fight the devils (metaphorically ofcourse!) is the only thing that can get you through...

My heart's a stereo

It beats for you, so listen close

Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote

Make me your radio

And turn me up when you feel low

This melody was meant for you

To sing along to my stereo

OF MIDNIGHT CONVERSATIONS..

It'a 2.04 A.M. right now... i am holding my phone against my ear, and i can hear your slow, even breathing. Yes, you have fallen asleep while talking to me, covering the distance of 7% within a span of 30 seconds...

 I know, i know, i should probably disconnect the call, but it's just such a nice feeling to hear you sleep so contently. You sleep like a baby, oblivious to the world, except for the one that you enter in your slumber.. :)

I even tried slow talking to you, whispering in your ears a couple of time, trying to verify if you had fallen into a deep sleep, or simply dozed off (ah well.. what can i say, an accountant's habit? :) ), but you're fast asleep.

I should probably feel guilty for keeping you up this late after a grueling day at work... but then again, you did insist you wanted to fall asleep talking to me... kind of flattering, to be honest, hehe.

Sleep well, you. :)

ANOTHER RAMBLE... ;)

There is a lot of shit happening in my life at the moment. I don't have a minute to give to myself. Something or the other keeps going wrong. As always, there's some confusion or the other around me. There are days when i can't stop cribbing about the unfairness of this and that, of how annoying he is, or what a pain she is.

But if you were to ask me if i would do things any differently from the way i have chosen to do them, if i would want to change anything, my answer would be a negative. I like where i am right now.. By no means does it mean that i am satisfied with how things are, and am content with my lot. No. It simply means, the small things amiss here and there do not take away from the sense of looking forward.

Till a few days back, everything seemed so dark and bleak. But now, in my weird typical way, i have decided to deal with it. And by deal with it, i mean not paying special attention to these ups and downs, by simply facing things one at a time, as they come up, instead of sitting and crying about them. Ofcourse i crib, all the bloody time, but then again, that's a part of the game, isn't it? Doesn't mean i am going to go and hide for eternity, no sir! And well, a lot of credit for all this goes to the amazing people around me... my dear baby sister who annoys the crap out of me most of the time but is always ALWAYS there, Alokick (that immensely patient man.. God bless you! lol), Reeeeeshu (you lanky typical boy uncle, you baniya businessman, you!), E (the lady with all the solutions), Geeko (even your name says you're an ass at most times :P ), Kuki (that slightly off her rocker but adorable to death woman,with the most incredible spiritual-mature-nutcase balance lol)....... whenever i feel blue, these people ensure that even if my shoulders might momentarily droop, my chin stays up and the smile doesn't disappear for too long. Sigh. Where would i be without you people.

PS - it's just another random ramble, and probably won't make much sense. But i just felt like typing all this. And well, my space and all that, you know!  ;)

JUST SAYIN'

It's a warm pleasant Sunday afternoon. A perfect early February day. The whole clan is assembling at the farmhouse in Chhatarpur for a theme party and lunch..

... AND I AM HERE, HOME, WRITING THIS LAME POST. But then, did i mention, i've got FEMA and Holding Companies to keep me company. Joy.
Oh well...

IT'S THE WAY YOU MAKE ME SMILE...

There are so many things i could say. But i won't. For the simple reason that i don't want to share any of it with anyone. (Yes... a lesson learnt the past few days, albeit a  little late! :P )

But i WILL say one thing.. you are the best thing to have happened to me in the longest time. They don't make them like you anymore. I think i just got lucky. And am i glad i did! :)

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE ONE ABOVE

Lord, give me the strength to persevere, to fight this sense of desolation that engulfs me with the crack of dawn every morning that i open my eyes. To not give up when all i want to do is hang in my boots and walk away. To keep away the distractions from my now fragile mind. To keep my trust and confidence in myself when everything and everyone around me points to the contrary. To ignore the negatives for a while and concentrate my energies only on the positive forces around me. To fight the demons that mock me at every turn. To overcome my fears of failure.

And in the midst of it all, help me keep my eyes open to the little things of beauty around me, to appreciate the good and respect the laws of nature. To turn the hopelessness that i feel into a sense of anticipation of facing a challenge head on. And to keep at it till i win. To keep my trust in those i trust, and not let petty things affect it or shake it, to feel the confidence in the good cheer that the positive souls around me try and spread around me.

Help me not turn my back on life and keep my chin up. I know i try to do that, but help me try harder... .

Amen.

'HER' AND 'HERS'...

"How could you?! how could you do and say what you did? One day they get angry at you, once they say a few things to you... and you throw dirt on everything they've worked for all these years, throw muck on their life's work?! aren't you feeling ashamed of yourself? doesn't something inside you, torment you?
They have given this their entire life... this IS their life. the fruit of their labor, their hard work, their EVERYTHING! and all it took was one bout of anger to throw cold water on all of it. imagine the pain and the trauma your words must have caused. is it any wonder that you are being treated the way you are? is it unfair? you have disappointed me... and disappointed them. so much... so much they've done. and so much you forgot all about. in that one moment of anger. you lousy ungrateful bitch!"