THE NIGHT IS MINE...

Stars are up, moon is high
Masks have been put away for the night.
Careers, relationships-- all forgotten
I am just me, what else matters?
Those hidden pleasures, those unseemly delights
That once again make me feel alive.
The cloak of annonimity that darkness brings
Is a comfort of which one seldom sings.
Deepest fears, smallest secrets
all come to the fore, explored, uninhibited.
Laugh or cry, choose to live or die--
nobody interrupts me-- for the night is mine.

When You Say Nothing At All...

It´s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don´t say a thing

The smile on your face let´s me know that you need me
There´s a truth in your eyes saying you´ll never leave m
eThe touch of your hand says you´ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What´s being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face let´s me know that you need me
There´s a truth in your eyes saying you´ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you´ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face let´s me know that you need me
There´s a truth in your eyes saying you´ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you´ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

-Notting Hill sountrack

Random Ramblings =|

hmmm...im bored so thought of scribbling some random thoughts on my page...though dun expect me to stick to anything in particular or find any sort of relevance between 2 lines. =D

Now, as i stated earlier, im bored. im bored outta my skin, outta my bones and outta anything else that one can be :. so much so, im ACTUALLY looking forward to my coaching classes which start tomorrow onwards... . so now, my schedule is gonna read something like 7am to 11am at ITO, thn to college for whatever classes i can attend, back home and then off again in the evening frm 5pm to 8 pm for coaching no.2. see...do you know ANYONE mad enough to be looking forward to this kind of horseshit?

its not just the fact that i have nothing to do, what also is annoying is that i cant really connect with anyone around me... their smallest of things, their smallest of jibes irritate me, make me see red and i wanna banish them from this universe. for no fault of theirs per se. :
things that used to interest me till not so long ago make we wanna scream with frustration.

hmmm....btw im out of books too : n thats sayin smthn cz i have been readin an average of one book per day for a while now...( does it matter that outta the 15 recent books, 7 were pure chic lit stuff full of gobsmacked women trying to figure out the love angle of the week of thr lives hah!). read shantaram and loved it. if reading the book is enough to make we wanna visit afghnisthan and try to 'pass my motion by the ocean' then its says something =D. man...i LOVED prabhaker ^-^
music! now THATS one more thing that helps me through my 'phases' as mansanjam likes to call them lol. can anyone PLEASE teach me to play drums? have been dyin to learn them but everyone except fr D knows guitar n no drums...n wd ask D only on m deathbed :
i wonder if you know, how they live in tokyo... la di la
n what else...hmm...oh yeah...loved chak de india! infact liked it even more than Rang De Basanti... liked Khan for the first time which in itself is speaks a lot for itself :D

aur kya...hmmm...lets think...oh yeah...im once again stuck over someone who has absolutely everything else going in his life except for me : shit... ah wel... to hell with you too honey! =P

you know what can really bug the shit out of you? the fact that something which you have always wanted and worked really hard for, singlemindedly (though not in my case!) gone after is NOT actually what you really want in life! a bloody piss off i tell you! :

hmmm...now that i have ranted and raved in a public forum, i think ive finally blown my steam :D
so now, think ill end it here and make a move towards...err...more routine (if not greener) pastures... thank youall for reading this crap and well...have a nice day! =)

at 19, still growing up

"have u ever noticed nething small....something discerning...n found the happiness in discovering a reality u were never conscious of?"

We had been making light conversation till not so long ago. To say that the question threw me off would be an understatement of sorts. Not because I didn’t have an answer to it, but more because I had a ready long answer and it is rarely (if ever!) I come across a person willing to talk about such things as a part of a conversation. If I try to raise a topic like this with my friends I’m either met with blank stares or an expression that clearly says, “Kritika, u have finally lost it”. K

At that point I gave as coherent an answer as I could manage though probably knowing my skills as putting forth a view without seeming like im gonna bite someone’s head off, I wonder if he understood. J but I did wonder about it later at night. My answer… a conversation between my mother and my maid

For the most part of my life I’ve lived in a world which has noone but me in it. All my actions, reactions, ideas, notions and thoughts for the major part of my life at least have been an answer to how a particular thing, incident, act or people affect me.
Though I’m ashamed to admit it, I have never been able to imagine how life must be as Mr. A or B or whatever. Even on the rare occasions I did, it seemed like such a tedious task that I gave up within the next 10 seconds.

Till not so long ago, everyone’s life seemed to exist till the extent that it was connected with me— my friends, cousins, relatives or house help. And a visit to their houses would amaze me and to a certain extent disillusion me—their everyday activities, their relationship with their parents, how they carried themselves around and small things like how they maintained their things. Their smallest of actions, everything used to be so different from what I had always imagined or felt it to be! But being around 11-12 years I was hardly able to pinpoint as to how or why did I form such different notions and ideas and why was I always so disappointed in people that they didn’t come upto them.

Over the years I’ve grown and started to believe that I understand people better now—can interpret their reactions, can make out from their expression how genuinely they mean what they say and blah blah. To summarize, I’ve started toi understand people (if not the world!) a bit better.

But then again, that was till about a month ago when I realized that my thinking is still self centred and small in perspective.

What triggered it? Well a conversation between my mother and my new maid while I happened to be lolling around… she was asking her about her life in her native place—her family, studies, work, life in general. Listening to her answer made me feel that for all my lately acquired worldly wise notions, I still havnt stepped out of my world of surrealism, naiveté, self complacency, whichever way u want to put it.


For the life of me I couldn’t imagine how could anyone live a life so different— so completely unlike the life that I live!

After having read this long an entry I’m sure you must be wondering what about this incident did make me happy? Well…to overcome this feeling of belonging to a different universe, I offered to teach her as a way to help her as well as myself. And no matter how stupid it may sound, it made me feel happy. J

NO SEX PLEASE, WE ARE DADDY'S LITTLE GIRLS

WASHINGTON: It has all the trappings of a wedding: the proud tuxedo-clad father, the frosted white cake, the limousines and an exchange of vows. But there is no groom and the girl in the long gown is no bride. She's daddy's little girl, taking a vow of chastity.
In what is becoming a trend among conservative Christians in the United States, girls as young as nine are pledging to their fathers to remain virgins until they wed, in elaborate ceremonies dubbed Purity Balls.
Many fathers at the ceremonies slip "purity rings" around the finger of their misty-eyed daughters or offer them "chastity bracelets" and other jewelry that the girls can entrust to their husbands on their wedding night.



This being an article on the DNA network website


now isn’t this funny? This new chastity fad hits the states and everyone starts talking about it. Suddenly everyone seems to be aware and talking about the need for ‘self preservation’ and ‘abstinence’. Bite me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this exactly what our older generations have been telling us about, asking us for!? When they say that having multiple partners or indulging in pre marital sex is not right, we boo boo them, thinking them to be old fashioned, outdated, hypocritical and orthodox.


But now that suddenly America is preaching abstinence, it becomes uber cool! :
Talk to a few people around about it, and they go like, “oh, but there is a difference you see… Indians preach chastity only for moral reasons, whereas people in the US are all for it for the medical problems that can occur… to stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS. Indians on the other hand are least concerned about this aspect!” :O

Point taken. But it certainly isn’t as simple as this. This is simply a manner of putting same information in a new avatar just to make it palatable and acceptable to the present generation. Here, we are willing to give it a chance just because US believes in it. What people don’t realize is that in the US itself this concept is mainly prevalent in the central states where the population is largely religious and conservative. Also, like everything else in the States, this too is just a passing fad. What else can explain the bizarre concepts of walking down the aisle with your father in a ceremony akin to the wedding ceremony, the only differences being absence of the groom and taking of celibacy vows instead of marriage vows. Or wearing chastity rings. OR (if these weren’t ridiculous enough!) going in for surgery to regain your so called virginity. I mean… how funny can it get!? :O if this clearly doesn’t smack of hypocrisy, what does? Well…to each his own, and hey! If it makes people feel good about themselves then why not go for it? But what I don’t understand is WHY does this sound so believable and acceptable to us? Why doesn’t the concept of virginity sound right to us on its own accord?

The funny thing is that the media that was all for sexual freedom of any and every kind as a symbol of a liberated society is now holding special talk shows, discussions etc on it, asking questions like “Now that the chastity fad has taken the US by storm, do you think you are going to follow suit?” So much for liberation :

Hey… I’m all for the concept of chastity, preservation till sure and stayinf faithful to our partners. But what is the guarantee that he/she has been equally faithful? How can we be sure that the problems we have been trying to safeguard ourselves from wont occur after marriage? If you abstain till marriage for moral, emotional and safety reasons, what is the guarantee that the person you marry has done so too and is…to say…a ‘safe’ bet? And WHY do people generally take chastity to mean abstinence on the part of women only?

i dunno much about these things but what iv always felt is Life doesn’t come with any guarantees. At the end of the day it all boils down to the choices we are willing to make and the gambles we are willing to take. Following a certain precedence set by others is not going to get us anywhere if we ourself are not sure about the reasons of making our choices... (to end on a peachy preachy note! :>)

She...

she looks out of the window and sees a vast expanse of ocean.
she walks out of the main door onto the beach, sand crunching under her feet as she walks.
she looks around and sees surfers trying to conquer the tides,
she looks at the sunbathers working hard for that perfect tan.
she sees kids playing trying to build castles and save them from the approaching tides.
she sees all this...and she turns and starts walking in the other direction, towards a more isolated, secluded spot of the beach shielded by some boulders.
she slowly walks around, playing with sand under her feet.
after walking for a bit she sits down and lets the sea breeze whip her hair about.
she gazes at the ocean, trying to clear her mind...what happened? whats next?
she waits for the wind to dry her tears. once done, she gets up to walk back home....

COME UNDONE

Mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin
I've been waiting for you
Signed, with a home tattoo,
Happy birthday to you was created for you

(can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can't I believe you're taking
my heartTo pieces)

Oh, it'll take a little time,
Might take a little crime
To come undone now

[pre chorus]
We'll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry

[chorus]
Who do you need,who do you love
When you come undone

Words, playing me deja vu
Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before
Chill, is it something real
Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers

(Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can I believe you're taking my heart
To pieces)

Lost, in a snow filled sky, we'll make it alright
To come undone now

K meets D in NC *la di la* :> --- TAKE TWO

K is at the metro station, getting a coin. turns to look around, and in walks THE DUDE again, this time holding his drum kit and other accessories. spots her, gives the 'D' grin.

K starts moving ahead. suddenly, "what! you cant even wait for me or offer to help me? what a chic man! i mean seriously!" Point taken, help offered. thrice. refused. thrice. great! let us go on!



K is not used to the metro platforms, so confused. D acts sweet and helps her. that's entirely a different issue that both gotta go to KB!

train awaits. K rushes towards it. D asks her to wait. say, "I'm tired. lets sit and talk for a while, we'll take the next one." great! K thinks, but agrees.

they sit and talk. he looks at her phone, thinks its a 'cute toy, apt for babies', smirks and hands it back. she just laughs... way too drained at the end of the day.

oh! here comes the train. both get in. D rushes and grabs a seat, saves one for K. sweet.

D gives her a once over. "god! look at what venky has done to you! you used to be so much fun!" she tries to explain that after a full day at college then 4 hours at NC in the sun, any babe would look like something the cat dragged in, not that she is either she hastens.

he merely smirks. Ha!

they look around. she has a weird drooling baby on her other side who keeps staring at her. D thinks its funny. "ooh! look! the baby has the 'hots' for you!" K is too drained to argue. they talk general stuff. suddenly the voice says, "the next station is patel chowk. please mind..."

oh, patel chowk... WHAT!! Patel chowk!!?? what the fuck!? where did rajiv chowk go? both look at each other, laugh. then grimace. they get off at the station, wait at the platform near the book store.

close by, a middle aged couple is standing_ aunty holding packets of namkeen and uncle busy hogging them. Ha! D and K look at each other and grin.

D starts about his band. suddenly, there is this weird blasting sound with CHANGING SCALES! oh! the uncle farted!! hahahaha. K tries to discretely turn her laughter into a cough.

but not D!

He comes close to her and 'whispers' in her ear, "you know what! that man just farted! and how?..." oh... he explains with audio effects, not bothering to lower the volume throughout! :

uncle turns, aunty turns. both stare. K wants to die, be swallowed by this earth! but no such blessing.

mercifully, the train arrives. both have to stand. they stand side by side, talking about nothing and something-- D, his band, his gluttony, his band, his love for beer. and his band. lol.

soon, the station arrives. both get off. "catchya later man! adios!" *grins*



***********************************END*********************************************

K meets D in NC *la di la* :> --- TAKE ONE

hah! this is a hilarious one. an account of one of the visits to the north campus. this happened a while ago... but hadnt bothered to post it till now. splitting it into 2 parts. happy reading! :>

TAKE ONE
K coming out of Stephen's with A, talking. suddenly someone shouts her name. looks around. sees no one. continues walking. again, "kritika!". looks across the street....oh! D coming out of Hindu College.
*grins on both the sides* D crosses the road in ultimate 'dude' style.
D's accompanied by a friend too, so introductions on both sides. some other friends of the great one come along... "yo, D! great performance on the drums the other day man! your band seriously rocks!" dialogue over, muah muah on each side, and the friends depart. D focuses his attention back on us ordinary mortals.
"So kritika, going to 'K Nags'? wanna walk with me till there? i know a short cut, or you gonna take a 'rick'!?"
no, thank you, kritika prefers a 'rick'.
"Aight then! seeya around! *grins*

*************************END OF TAKE ONE*******************************

Awaken – Them Clones

Watch you grow on my own
Am I alive, yes I wait alone
Watch you breathe ready to disown
Needles and pins are reflections of my soul

Bathe in the silver sun
Moon at night brighter than the cosmic light
You my moon will flow
and flood my mind
Meet you there in the depths of skies
Don’t say goodbye, I trust you to lie

An affair with misery
Clandestine starves of my ecstasy
Bleed my pride when u put me to sleep
Goodbye goodbye don’t say coz I trust you to lie(Trust you to lie)


Awaken to sweet rhythm
Dream that unfolds creations
Awaken to sweet rhythm
Dreams of echoes left alone.