Self worth.. the phrase that has been going around in my head since morning. What got me thinking about it? A conversation with someone very close and very dear to me. She is facing a problem, but has sort of become indifferent to it. When i suggested that why don't you share your feelings and fears and insecurities with those immediately around you, she refused point blank, stating categorically that she has no confidence in them. And went on a step further to add that she feels that the self doubt and issues in her mind right now, are a result of ignorant emotional attacks by those very people, wherein, while expressing their uninhibited concern and support for something in a not so positive way, they ended up being the reason for self doubt and lack of self worth in her
Why do we do this? Why do we overstep our lines and destroy somebody's confidence or worth or value, simply because they do not adhere to the ideal image that we have in our heads? Why is it so important to you that the other person looks, talks, walks, think, or for that matter breathes, in the manner you seem fit? No matter how close you are to them, you can NOT become that person! You can NOT take up the onus of judging them AND THEN, take up the responsibility of setting the list of action items they need to undertake in order to fall in line. How atrocious and ignorant of you! Do you realize what you do? The 'concern' that you have shown over all these years, has wiped away slowly at the feeling of self worth that is the basic right of that very person! If anything, your responsibility is to help that very person for that very thing, by lending them all the positivity and strength that you can muster. Stop taunting and shaming them, and start with some understanding, some counselling, some encouragement, and lots of strength. Tell her that she's perfect the way she is, that there are so many qualities in her that even you don't possess, that her personality outshines then sheen brought on by the most expensive of illuminators. That when you listen to stories of others, your heart swells with gratitude and your head goes a little higher with pride. That her inherent potential, her skills, and her dogged persistence, makes her jewel in today's world!
There are times when we all fail to do these things - appreciate a person for who she is, NOT BECAUSE we don't value them or don't recognize their worth, but because we love them so much, or because we want so much MORE for them, we want everything to be added in that one little human spirit, to make it bigger and bigger, just like the love that we feel for them or the wishes that we seek for them. But then, without realizing it, we are creating our own shackles around them, which bind them and tear at them bit by bit, till it leaves behind only a fragment of what once was.. Don't do it. Don't destroy something precious in your attempts to protect it and harness it. You will never even realize the damage that you instil..
And you, don't you let it chip away at yourself. You are more than just words, or taunts, or opinions. You are bigger than anything else in your own universe. Your first responsibility, today and always, is only and only towards yourself. Only when you yourself are happy, can you ever make anyone or anything happy. And nobody has the right to make you feel anything that you don't wish to. They can say whatever the fuck they want, but it can't be worth anything ONLY WHEN you decide to give it any weight. You are stronger than that. You are stronger than anything else. Because you have absolute and uncontrolled power over one thing and only one thing in this planet - yourself. Don't squander it away, don't delegate it to anybody else. Your own willpower will guide you, your own reasons will guide you.. give them freeway. Let facts and situations talk to you. Listen to that voice inside of you, which tells you the most honest thing. Don't ignore it, not in the favor of the cacophony around you, and most certainly not in the favour of that little elf called Self Pity. These two things will always try and overpower you. But they can, only if YOU let them, Don't let them.