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Sunday, November 13, 2011

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS...

running and running... running so hard. yet, stopping right in the middle, waiting for you to catch up with me, before i start the race again... no one around, nothing else around. a gripping dread. but also an assurance somewhere deep inside. both equally justified.

sometimes it's an ocean, sometimes it's a dead road. but always the night. always me, alone. me alone, running. alone, yet not quite.
abstract, so abstract. i cant see my own face, i cant see your face.
i don't know if you are good, i don't know if you are bad. yet i am running from you. irrationally.
only because i don't know you. only because i don't understand you. only because i can't see you.
all i know is, you are there somewhere, right behind me, running after me.

what is it? why is it? years and years... yet the same dream. a dream? or a nightmare?
 i don't even know.
feels like a nightmare sometimes. but then again, if thats what it really was,
why would i stop in my tracks, waiting for you to catch up?

and all it ends with, ever, is a cold sweat. and me sitting up in the bed, trying not be scared of the shadows, trying to convince myself that there is nobody there apart from me and mona... nobody is standing next to me, the presence i feel and fear, even in these known surroundings, is an unjustified irrational fear.

all i do, is wake mona up, hold her hand, and close my eyes, holding onto it, hoping i will fall asleep soon enough...

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