Saturday, January 28, 2012


I might be no expert, but i have always believed that where literature is concerned, i am no ignorant fool. I am an avid reader and love prose. I know my Dickens from Twain, Dostoevsky from Tolstoy, Amitav Ghosh from Hari Kunzru and so on.

However, where poetry is concerned, my knowledge is extremely lacking. It's not like i can't appreciate poetry or the delicacy and subtlety of this form of literature from the more direct force which characterizes most of prose. It's just something i have never really paid much attention to. For some reason, i have always dismissed it as something for the more serious readers, and the academicians.

It is a notion i've always had since my middle school days. Prose meant something straight and direct, something more absorbing, something which spun a web of wonder around me, made me travel from one era or one place to another.
Poetry on the other hand, was something which always seemed more difficult to understand, something which first needed to be interpreted, and then enjoyed. Atleast at that age, and in that time.
As a result of all that, i never really did pay much attention to it.

However, now i wish i hadn't been so dismissive of it. Because the more poetry i read, the more wonderful it seems to me. And the more my earlier notion annoys me. I regret not having read more.

Hence, i have decided, i am going to read atleast one poem everyday. I am going to pick a particular poet, and read as much of his/her works as i can lay my hands on. And well, the first poet(ess) i have decided to pick, is Maya Angelou, mainly because i have read some of her works, and one of her poems, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, has always been a particular favorite.

Suggestions are welcome! :)


A random status message on facebook says, 
"You can never make the same mistake twice ,because the second time you make it,it's not a mistake,it's a choice."

Usually, i pass this kind of preachy advise without a second glance. But well, this time the person seems to make just a little bit of sense. I guess it might have had something to do with the fact that the above quote is eerily applicable in my case. Having fallen in the same ditch repeatedly, and making a pattern of it does qualify i believe, nay?

ah well. so that's that.


oh no oh no oh no... the devil is creeping in once again! that monster with a trident and red horns? yes, he is upto some mischief!
he's making me feel restless once again.. giving me this itch to simply get up and get out and do something drastic, prodding me with that infernal three edged needle.. something fun, something exciting, something excruciatingly exhilarating, something, drastic, something dramatic, something adventurous, something different from the mundane and ordinary... something which is a mix of all of these and bound to play havoc with my mind, that stupid part of me which i am trying so hard to tame!
i am trying to convince him, telling him, "listen, it's because of you i've flunked once again, and i can't afford to serve you this time!" but apparently, i am not being too convincing!
he simply sits there, grinning that mischievous 'do-what-you-will-you-know-it's-me-who'll-win' grin.
he has even manipulated the weather god! it's so bright and sunny, warm and brilliant!


Tuesday, January 24, 2012


she said i feel stranded
and i can't tell anymore
if i'm coming or i'm going
it's not how i planned it
i got a key to the door
but it just won't open

i know i know i know
part of me says let it go
that life happens for a reason
i don't i don't i don't
because it never worked before
but this time
this time
i'm gonna try anything to just feel better

tell me what to do
you know i can't see through the haze around me
and i'd do anything to just feel better
i can't find my way
god i need a change
and i'd do anything to just feel better
any little thing to just feel better

she said i need you to hold me
i'm a little far from the shore
and i'm afraid of sinking
you're the only one who knows me
and who doesn't ignore that my soul is weeping

tell me what to do
you know i can't see through the haze around me
and i'd do anything to just feel better
i can't find my way
god i need a change
and i'd do anything to just feel better
any little thing to just feel better

i'm tired of holding on
to all the things i leave behind
it's really getting old yeah
i think i need a little help this time
i'm gonna try anything to just feel better..

Life can be surprizing.. unexpected, harsh, cruel, unfair, yet inspiring.
Under most circumstances, we turn towards our perceived strengths, looking towards them for inspiration, motivation and belief, hoping that they would get us through when all else and everything else fails.
But then, there are those occasions, rare as they might be, when it's the failure of that source of inspiration, that spurs you on.
When something that you've counted on, turns against you, the sheer intensity of the pain that it causes, shocks you into action.
When something that you always thought and hoped would HELP you prove a point, becomes the thing you need to prove a point to..

i read this somewhere..

"May you have the mindless/fulness to mute the judgments around you and tune-into your awesomeness and be in YOUR element".

Monday, January 23, 2012


..I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

..'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

Thursday, January 19, 2012


So the D-Day came and went... and brought nothing new to offer to me. Except probably, just another lesson in perseverance. The worst bit? Finding it out in the presence of 50-60 odd people, AFTER an announcement in the newspaper. what's with the Institute and suddenly media frenzy anyway?!

Ah well.. we shall come to that bridge soon enough. Not as if i am getting away from it anytime soon! Anyway..
the wedding is done with. Quite wonderful last 3 days, except for that dark spot yesterday.
And now... it's close to the time for our Act! And i need to get everything in order to ensure everything falls in place, or else, we are gonna be NOWHERE! Plus, you can't really build up expectations all around, and then do nothing about it. Just not cool man, just not cool. Heh.

Moreover, it helps keep me busy and distracted. He (i.e. the one above) doesn't give me much to thank Him for these days, but... THANK GOD FOR SMALL MERCIES! 

Friday, January 13, 2012


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

there are about a hundred reasons for me to be writing a blogpost... but but BUT... i FINALLY have a new journal, which obviously gets priority! i had, i think for MONTHS now, been going on and on about how i needed one. i think i pretty much chewed people's ears off, going on about it. hahaha! a funny thing though- i hadn't written anything in it till last night. ah well.. that is taken care of.

Anyway, a quick update on what keeps me busy these days-
  • my parents' 25th Anniversary preparations which include a lot of planning on my behalf, trying to devise every possible way of making a fool of myself in front of everyone, ESPECIALLY the ones i invite. -headdesk-
  • this stupid annoying client, which seems never ending, the work being so scattered, manually maintained records, absent supervisors, absent entry passes, absent escorts, absent cars and wottnottt!
  • now, if i am talking of work, how can i NOT mention my delightful coworker. she's a right ray of sunshine, that one! i can't stop talking about her! ask A, D and E! -heh heh heh-
  • this never ending cough. it's my winter mistress. doesn't let go of me through the season. it does go a little dormant once in a while, but never EVER leaves me be!
  • this, though occupies my mind every waking (and sleeping!) moment, it's something i like to talk about the least. the word in question starts with 'R' and ends with a 'T'. the intelligent ones won't take too long to figure, am guessing!
  • and ofcourse, some random thoughts which keep occupying my mind off and on, which make me wanna go back under the blanket and never come out. lol
so yeah, my little list, a sort of answer to the title question!

PS- i might have got my journal, but we are STILL going journal shopping! now that i have started, mine won't last too long anyway... ;)

Friday, January 6, 2012

Toohey asks, "What do you think of me?"

Roark answers, "I don't think of you." ("What about you?")

And they continue on their separate ways, never meeting again.
(The Fountainhead)

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life...

Thursday, January 5, 2012


Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life


the music, the lyrics... the VOICE.. simply amazing.

The Lyrics
Dil Se Tujhko Bedili Hai
Mujhko Hai Dil Ka Guroor
Tu Yeh Maane Ke Ya Na Maane
Log Maanenge Zaroor

Yeh Mera Deewanapan Hai
Ya Mohabbat Ka Suroor
Tu Na Pehchaane To Hai Yeh
Teri Nazron Ka Kusoor
Yeh Mera Deewanapan …

Dil Ko Teri Hi Tamanna
Dil Ko Hai Tujhse Hi Pyar
Chaahe Tu Aaye Na Aaye
Hum Karenge Intezaar
Yeh Mera Deewanapan…

Aise Veerane Mein Ek Din
Ghut Ke Mar Jayenge Hum
Jitna Ji Chaahe Pukaro
Phir Nahin Aayenge Hum
Yeh Mera Deewanapan…

Monday, January 2, 2012


There's a place I dream about
Where the sun never goes out.
And the sky is deep and blue.
Won't you take me there with you.

Ohhh, we can begin again.
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in.
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again.

There's a world I've always known
Somewhere far away from home.
When I close my eyes I see
All the space and mystery.

Ohhh, we can begin again.
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in.
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again.