oh you dazzling smile, what sorrows are you hiding today?

i WILL NOT break, and i WILL NOT break down. the tears and the pain might be there, but it will never show. never. ever. not to you. not to most. and slowly, it will go away. i will negate it. i will nip it in the bud. it won't kill me, it won't affect me. and i will absolutely not run after it. i REFUSE to run after it. i've given as much as i could, and i did it willingly. no more. not a bit more.

it pinches and affects. all the bloody time. but i won't think about it anymore. there is so much more. soo much more. so many more willing, more giving. there is so much to look forward to, so much to work for. everyday comes up with atleast one joy, which overshadows the ten other trifle sorrows, which helps me sleep easy. then while stock taking, why should i forget those small things which made me smile? why should i insist on going back to what didn't happen?!

if there is so much to look forward to, so much ahead of me, then where is there the need to look back at all? why the wishful thinking? it's not worth it. and i won't let it get the better of me. I WON'T!

if you see it in your mind, you're going to hold it in your hand.

and i see a life. a successful, hard earned one. which i have dreamt of and worked for. the realization of a dream more precious to me than anything else. and nothing, no circumstances, shall detract me. i'm gonna have it all, and on my terms. i'll make it happen. and i'l keep working till i get there. but i will..and wild horses won't stop me.