K... this is the way

restless. quite. agitated. that too. brief sentences seem better. somehow uh...crisper? feels like a zillion years, where it's just been one. detached. yeah, quite. like in everything else maybe? pinches sometimes, but mostly it's ok. when does it pinch? well...when there isn't anyone to listen. to lend support. to cheer on. to say they care 'a lotta lot'.. those 'wakey wakey' and 'nighty night' messages... the first thoughts in the morning and the last before going to bed every night. those secrets. that complete confidence.
"K... you're good! you don't even know how good"
"K...nothing holds a candle to what we share..."
"K...you're the one bright spark in my mundane life"...
"K...I'm committed. I'm getting married. Can you believe it?"
yes...K believes it. every bloody time she does. she's a believer afterall... a hopeless one at that. she doesn't know any better. she treasures and trusts. she hopes and she believes. she's disappointed and she's broken. every time.
tears...they have dried up. 
words...they've become a mere echo. 
memories...some are hazy, some shining with a neon sign.
rants, they are unbecoming. 
scenes, quite coarse.
time, an anesthetic.
silence, a dignified answer.
indifference, salvation.
one year...one year...and still... not one who comes close...
and most thought the distance...literal and figurative...would work magic.
it has worked, to a great extent. but it's still just a bandage wrapped over a raw wound.
so difficult to explain...so difficult to talk about. the ones who know it all don't understand. the others, well, they simply don't care. why should they? who does anymore, atleast for her?

K..this is the way...this is the way... learn :)