i just wanna disappear. go away. from everyone. everything. i don't want to be around people.
silence, complete and absolute; solitude, uninterrupted; introspection, completely objective; objectivity, now that's something i've kind of lost over the years; willpower to actually do what i have in mind, well..that needs complete detachment too...these are the things i really need.
and that's not possible if i don't completely distance myself from anyone and everyone. soo many opinions, so many advices...and all so varied. somewhere along the line i've lost my own point of view. some are looking out for me, some trying to protect me, some trying to goad me, some trying to test me. some think i'm naive and gullible. others think i lack a backbone. some think i am too trusting. others think i doubt and analyse and second guess too much. you know what? thank you all, but i've had enough. i respect your opinions and concerns and everything, but i am not a child. i can look out for myself.
i need time out. time away. from everything and everyone. especially from certain people. i need to clear my head. and i really need to examine my relationship with some who i thought were the closest...funny, how everyone saw through the 'facade' when i couldn't, not in all these years. anyway, enough ranting i guess.
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