Potpourri...

This post has been a while coming. I don't know why I haven't written for so long.. Maybe its because I've had a lot on my plate, maybe nothing noteworthy has happened that needed to be chronicled.. Or maybe I've just forgotten the art of stringing words together.. Even now I don't have anything specific to write about, just this wish to once again see my thoughts appear in words.. To sort them as I type them..

What's my current state of mind? I can't really understand. Its a thought potpourri.. And my emotions, a forest on fire. There's so much in my head, yet its so difficult to put it together coherently.. But I guess it would be safe to say that I'm kind of discontented with my lot. Because where I am right now, is nowhere close to where I'd like to be.. I want to be free, soar high, not be bound my limits or restrictions.. I want to see the world, and what all it has to offer me. I don't want to be tied down to things or people, with obligations and duties, with the dos and don'ts... I want to travel, try different cuisines, write, meet new people, work with people, FOR people..

The world is limitless and boundless.. it has so much to offer, to teach, to feel, to accommodate. So how can confining ourselves to our safe spots be justified? Doesn't it fill any of you with this unquenchable thirst to see, to experience, to feel, to learn?

I haven't lived my purpose in life yet.. I feel like I haven't done anything that I was meant to do, this far. Every day when I get up, this feeling of dissatisfaction niggles. Its not the people, its not my surroundings.. Its the role I'm being expected to play, forced to play, to fit within the set parameters that makes me restless. I am living in direct conflict of my very nature.. So how can I be completely truly satisfied? Is it any wonder that I feel so lost and out of my depth? If I wish to play by the rules, do what everyone expects out of me, I could.. But that would mean I'm denying my very nature, that in trying to be dutiful towards others, I'm being unfaithful to myself.. What then?


But, worry not. It's not all as grim as i just made it sound.. Work is erratic as usual, and soon i will be going on leave.. as usual. Exams are less than 2 months away and i haven't started doing much. Although this time, i am more determined to make progress than i have been for the longest time, to actually to my brains to use.

More than anything else, i have been a lot more grounded and at peace with my vagabond inner thoughts than i have been for the longest time, thanks to the GreenBoy.. poor bloke has a hard time of it though! :)


Aaaaaaaaand... how can i forget... it seems like the whole world and its mother is now aware of my relationship status, both sets of parents included. I am not sure whether the idea terrifies me or excites me more... Thankfully, after those constant initial discussions, things have sort of sunk in. For now.The next 2-3 months though, are going to be tough on both of us. Hopefully we will both get out with our sanity intact!