Second post in two days. After not having written forever. Who would have thought. But i guess it's only when i am drowning in sorrow or jumping with joy, that i actually feel the need to express. And right now, sadly or not, it's the former.

I am just so upset with my life! And i feel so helpless! What do i do?! How do i sort things? How do i arrive at answers?! That one thing i've never believed in, or believe in, has cast a shadow on everything around me. And the uncertainty of it all has affected me in a manner which makes me run away from everything and everyone remotely associated with anything to do with it. Since i can't physically run away, i'm emotionally running from it all, cutting off from everyone, because the fact that it somehow matters to me, affects me more than it matters to anyone else, bothers me too much. It just doesn't seem to bother anyone else! My whole life is under question, but nobody cares.

I don't know what to do, how to deal with all this. And this helplessness is suffocating me. I am drowning in it! It is making me question the premise of everything i took as a given. It feels like an open wound. And it's a wound that i want to prick, to see how much it bleeds, how much it pains, and how i bear that pain.