Calm.. Why do you have to always be calm. Why can't you roar when you're angry,  or cry when you're hurting. Or throw things, break things when you're raging within? Why is it that even in an outpouring of such tumultuous emotions you've got to watch what you say or do, paying more heed to how it might hurt others than to that dire need to vent?

I don't know.. Maybe it's because it's the things or people that you love the most, that make you this angry, or have that power to hurt you. Maybe it's what they say or think that affects you the most. And those are the very things or people that you wish to protect, even as you battle the urge to hurt them.

I'm scared of ever unleashing the full fury of my anger on anyone. There's nobody I know who I feel is strong enough to withstand it, to not get burnt. I guess that's the reason why most of such times I'm alone by myself, where the only who has to bear the brunt of it all is me, or my own things. And when I can't be myself in my anger, when I can't allow myself that luxury of self destruction before being reborn, I wish to escape, to run away.. Leave behind all that's causing the unbearable pain. Heh. These are the times when I think I'm glad I don't own a car. Else who knows where I would be now..