:-?

In a weird frame of mind these days. Happy and kind of looking forward to things, with this feeling of expectation like there is something out there, tempting and waiting to be caught. Feel in control of things.
But then there is something nagging as well. As with the other feeling, cant exactly say what. Maybe that usual feeling that is always there with any joy?

Sun feels wonderful on the face. Directly though. When not on the face, gets irritating. Books don’t seem to be as punishing and torturous as about a couple of weeks back. Infact, quite comfortable and minus that usual stifling feeling that generally accompanies whenever they are on the table.

Singing out loud with any and every song that’s playing has become quite natural—something that happens on its own, whether lyrics are known or not. Other people’s frowns and complaints- all gone for a toss. All hail the new karaoke queen!

The idea and task of going out, making an effort and approaching people is a real pain. This weather does it to one. But then once around them, seems as natural as anything. Like this is how things should be. Not for too long though. after a while that feeling sets in-- of being on guard around someone particular. That wariness and wish to get away. This is noticed by the other person too. Hence stays cut off? Others don’t though. Act bubbly and its enough for them. Solitary strolls and outings are fun! Preferable even. Picking the phone and calling up is a task mostly. But getting calls is not. Once on, talking for hours is fun. Most times atleast. At others, so much easier to let the phone keep ringing.

This is probably what months of remaining anti social does— makes one so comfortable around their own self. So much so, nobody else is required. Mostly atleast. Wonder how long this can last though.

Ah, laziness.