Ever since I was a child, especially after my younger sister was born and as a consequence of her becoming the apple of everyone's eye, I learnt to move away with a smile. As a child, as a result of many illnesses that afflicted me simultaneously and lasted for long periods and as a consequence confined me to my house for long, i gradually withdrew from people, became shy, reserved. I learnt very early build walls around me that protected me, at the same time kept people from coming close beyond a point. I never made many demands because I a) didn't wish to rely on them for every fancy b) nor wanted to face the disappointment of not having them met. And believe me, I was happy! I was mature for my age, level headed, a good student, ambitious and pretty much sorted in life, even if I did sometimes wonder what it would be like to let go of myself completely, lower the walls, let people in, not try and keep myself secluded behind those walls...

Then came college, and I did exactly that. And life changed completely.

It made me discover many things about myself, the world, people..so much. It was, and is, a wonderful feeling. But it also made me see the benefits of being by myself, closer to myself than anyone else. It taught me how much simpler life was earlier. And how I sometimes regret not being able to go back... No, not sometimes. Often. Very often.. To the times it was just me for myself, and there was no need for anyone else. If only...